Mike Mayo: I think what I hear UBS saying in their presentation is, if I'm an affluent customer, I'll feel a lot better going to UBS if they have a 13 percent capital ratio than another big bank with a 10 percent ratio, do you agree with that or disagree? Jamie Dimon: So you would go to UBS and not JPMorgan? Mike Mayo: I didn't say that, that's their argument. Jamie Dimon: That's why I'm richer than you. [BloombergTV]
Crazy Optimistic Jamie Dimon Even Nice To Mike Mayo During Bizarre JPMorgan Investor Day Appearance
JPMorgan Investor Day got thisclose to J-Dimez grabbing the mic and growling "Let me drop some dope cap ratio lines on y'all!"
Dick Parsons Actually Gives Mike Mayo What He Wants
Is Mike Mayo the most powerful man on Wall Street, able to bend CEOs and bank chairmen to his will with the greatest of ease? If you'd asked us days ago we would have said "Well he does have a varsity analyst jacket but eh." Today? The answer is we have no idea but Dick Parsons is certainly helping make that case by not only complying with the demands of Mayo but doing so on his specified time schedule. [WSJ, Earlier: “I think that Parsons should leave in the next two weeks,” said Mayo on Feb. 23]
Person Sends Email To Jamie Dimon
We* don't really find it particularly amusing amusing or post-worthy that a Jefferies employee accidentally or misguidedly put Jamie Dimon on an email about a working group list but judging by the number of people who've sent it to us, this is the height of banking humor, so here you go:
Mike Mayo Doesn't Need A Job To F@ck With JPMorgan
The Van Gogh of bank trolls will not be stopped by a mere sudden lack of employment.
Mike Mayo Is Done Waiting For Everyone Around Him To Do Their Jobs
Because he's had some previous success putting bankers on deadlines for complying with his demands and because he has had it up to here with financial regulators and the companies they supervise, both of which have been dragging their heels since Dodd-Frank was passed, CLSA analyst Mike Mayo appeared on CNBC today to issue a message: The time for thumb twiddling is over. Move your asses, NOW, or he'll move them for you. Regulators need to write new financial services rules and banks need to get back to banking, CLSA analyst Mike Mayo told CNBC’s Squawk on the Street. “It’s been two years since Dodd-Frank was passed,” Mayo said. “If you’re the regulators, get these laws written, if you’re the banks, at some point you have to play the ball where it lies. You need to get back to the business of banking.” Mayo said there should be “no more excuses.” Everyone understand or does he need to enunciate? Yes? Okay: play the ball where it lies, you useless cocksuckers! If it's in the water, roll your fucking khakis up and do something useful for once in your pathetic fucking lives. ‘No More Excuses’ from Banks or Regulators: Analyst [CNBC] Related: Mike Mayo Suggests Citi Chair Dick Parsons Be Gone In A Fortnight, Or Else