UBS Needs Help Selecting Items For Its Time Capsule

Separately, the bank also needs to hire a bunch of interns for this summer's "Emerging Talent Program." Enter: two birds, one stone:
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Separately, the bank also needs to hire a bunch of interns for this summer's "Emerging Talent Program." Enter: two birds, one stone:

In your application, we'll also look for evidence of skills such as problem analysis, judgment and decision making, planning and organizing, communication, drive and commitment, teamwork and innovation. You must be available from July 7 - August 3, 2013. Applicants are asked to submit a one-page essay (saved in word or .pdf format) answering the following question: “What would you suggest UBS put in its next 150 year time capsule to be opened in year 2162?”

Anniversary watches, branded tea cups, a copy of Kweku Adoboli's "sorry to leave you in a jam" email, and clip-on ties are already on the list so please, think outside the box.

Related

It's Possible A Bunch Of Employees At UBS Deutschland Helped Clients Evade German Taxes

The bank has ran its own internal investigation and found no evidence of wrongdoing but prosecutors are still going to take a look-see themselves. The investigation, being conducted by economic-crimes prosecutors in Mannheim, was started in March against unnamed employees after a tax inquiry in the southwestern state of Baden Wuerttemberg identified suspicious transfers of funds from Germany to Switzerland, allegedly executed by a German taxpayer with the assistance of the Frankfurt-based office of UBS Deutschland AG...In May, prosecutors seized more than 100,000 computer files and other records during a search of the bank's Frankfurt office, Mr. Lintz said. Tax investigators are assessing this material to identify evidence that bank officials acted as accessories to tax evasion, he said. In its statement, UBS Deutschland said that "an internal investigation into the specific allegations has not identified any evidence of misbehavior by UBS Deutschland AG." It said it is cooperating with the criminal investigation. Several investigations of UBS clients in Germany are under way by local prosecutors independent of the Mannheim investigation, Mr. Lintz said. He declined to say how many clients are under investigation. A report in the Thursday edition of German newspaper Stuttgarter Nachrichten said thousands of bank clients are under investigation. Mr. Lintz declined to confirm that figure. Germany Probes UBS Staff on Tax-Evasion Allegations [WSJ]

Layoffs/Hiring Watch '12: UBS

The Swiss bank is said to be planning a big round of cuts in the investment bank with the aim of saving a bunch of money, which it will then spend on luring in "more promising talent." is embarking on a new round of job cuts within its investment bank, according to people familiar with the matter, as the Swiss bank grapples with a downturn in business that shows few signs of abating and considers a further restructuring of the division. UBS will begin notifying employees Wednesday of a new round of job cuts totaling roughly 400, the people said. Additional job losses that could run into the thousands may quickly follow. According to one of the people, there is a "good probability" that when UBS discloses its third-quarter results next Tuesday, it will make clear which businesses it intends to focus on in the years to come, and which ones it will de-emphasize...This week's jobs cut will be spread roughly evenly across North America, Europe and Asia, one of the people said. They will fall more or less evenly on fixed-income trading, equity trading and corporate finance, although the latter will bear slightly more of the brunt than the former two divisions. While these job cuts are mainly mean to cut costs, they are also part of a plan to cull the worst performers from the investment bank's ranks and create room for it to hire more-promising talent, one of the people said. UBS Plans More Job Cuts [WSJ]

UBS Concerned With The Company Some Of Its Employees Keep

The following is a (not at all comprehensive) list of things that UBS could legitimately be embarrassed about: - Losing so much money that a rogue trader's $2billion loss barely registered above 'meh' on the Do We Care scale - Awarding 4-figure bonuses to managing directors - Employing a guy who "implored bankers to make a more concerted effort to streamline the firm and likened the strategy to slashing expenses like a 'Jewish shopkeeper'" - Having their entire healthcare team decide Jeffereies is a better place to work - Being scammed by a bunch of ops guys - Pulling a reverse Field of Dreams and spending all the money it didn't have to build a 103,000-square-foot trading floor, in a 700,000-square-foot building, that no one wants to work on - Getting no respect from the people of Stamford, who'd prefer "a nice big Costco" move into the space - Having to distribute a step-by-step guide re: how to tie a tie And yet, rather than feel some measure of humiliation about, for instance, the PowerPoint admission that their grown men employees don't know how to dress themselves or taking the time to send out a memo that reads "Subject: Hey, Body: Stop losing so much fucking money!", the bank's execs are going with this: ...Robert Wolf, a top UBS executive in New York, is among President Obama’s leading fund-raisers, building more than $500,000 for his re-election so far this year. A regular presence at big campaign fund-raisers, Mr. Wolf, who is 50, golfs and vacations with Mr. Obama and is known for e-mailing friends photos of himself with the president. While such a close relationship might have been envied by other bankers in 2008, when much of Wall Street was infatuated with Mr. Obama and donated heavily to his presidential bid, it has been making other UBS executives uneasy of late...With media reports pointing out that one of the bank’s top executives is also one of the Obama campaign’s top bundlers — a word that one UBS executive said “makes people’s hair stand on end” inside the bank — the Swiss banking giant has decided to take an unusual step. The bank’s powerful group executive board in Zurich recently presented Mr. Wolf with an edict directing him to report all his media inquiries to the firm’s press office. Since then, most of the requests to speak to Mr. Wolf have been rejected, according to people briefed on the situation, resulting in a much dimmer limelight for Mr. Wolf...“You will clear any and all communications with the press as far in advance as possible,” the directive to Mr. Wolf read. “With respect to activities outside UBS you will, on a best-efforts basis, keep corporate communications informed.” Bosses Reign In Banker Who Golfs With Obama [Dealbook]