$$$ JPMorgan Said To Face Escalating Senate Probe Of CIO Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ J.P. Morgan Names New Chief Investment Officer [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks now like to do quarterly calls with bondholders [WSJ] $$$ Some people still like big banks [Bloomberg] $$$ FINRA is suing a test-prep firm for taking Series 7, etc., exams 64 times, failing 52 of those times, and memorizing the questions to tell their students [Reuters; the complaint is also amusing] $$$ [Harvard] Economics concentrator Ali E. Evans ’13 received his [Harvard Business School] acceptance email on Wednesday while sitting in class next to his roommates. He said he celebrated silently and texted his parents. Evans said he has visited classes at the Business School with his tutors at Kirkland House since sophomore year. "Leading my own company one day is definitely a goal of mine, and so business school definitely fits in with that plan," he said. [Crimson] $$$ Pimco is looking for a diversity & inclusion coordinator in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ Qatar Imperils Big Merger of Commodity Companies [DealBook] $$$ There's a new Kindle Fire and it's cheaper [WSJ] $$$ Citigroup, Goldman, UBS Sued Over Mortgage-Backed Bonds [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman must face mortgage debt claims - 2nd Circuit [Reuters] $$$ European political leader says "Some fans of group sex say that it’s better than one-on-one because, as with any collective work, you can skive off," is not Silvio Berlusconi [Telegraph]

$$$ Fed Extends Twist, Signals Concerns [WSJ] $$$ Reasons to be sad about the Fed [Tim Duy] $$$ Berlusconi Casts Doubt on Austerity Plan [WSJ] $$$ Rompuy Blueprint Said To Include Options On Debt, Bank Oversight [Bloomberg] $$$ Standstills in Change of Control Transactions [HLS] $$$ With all words from Greek, Roman, Norse, etc. myths already taken, Peter Thiel named a fund after a metal from The Lord of the Rings [DI] $$$ A leading New York hedge fund is looking for a general counsel - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Regulators Back Off Tougher Curbs on Oil [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Orioles player Eddie Murray is part of insider trading inquiry [Reuters] $$$ The Mormon Madoff: How Shawn Merriman Scammed Millions $$$ NYSE CEO: Public Has Lost Trust inMarket [WSJ] $$$ Madam still stuck at Rikers [NYP]

$$$ Manufacturing Slowdown Reaches U.S. [WSJ] $$$ Eurozone unemployment hits record high [FT] $$$ The Fishing Guide Who Hooked Hedge-Fund Titan Bill Ackman [Forbes] $$$ Finns, Dutch cast first doubt on euro zone deal [Reuters] $$$ Old Mitt’s Investment in a Fetus-Disposal Company Is Not a Great Thing for New Mitt [DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an executive director to manage its Latam FX options market-making book [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan Tightens Bond Grip As Whale Loss Weighs [Bloomberg] $$$ Esma probes agencies’ views on banks [FT] $$$ Physicists Inch Closer to Proof of Higgs Boson [NYT] $$$ Justin Bieber Graduates High School [NYT]

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

$$$ Plaintiffs' lawyers somehow turn nonbinding "say on pay" votes into shakedown opportunity [Reuters, related] $$$ How a desperate HP suspended disbelief for Autonomy deal [Reuters] $$$ Virtu, Getco Start Examining Knight Trading’s Books [Deal Journal] $$$ Carl Icahn and the Oshkosh board are still fighting [WSJ] $$$ National Bank of Poland Working Paper: "Would it have paid to be in the eurozone?" (Spoiler: no) [NBP] $$$ John Cochrane and Cliff Asness critique Warren Buffett on taxes [Grumpy Economist] $$$ Somebody's using bitcoins [BBW] $$$ A financial institution is looking for a risk manager in Charlotte [DBCC] $$$ Detroit on the Verge of Insolvency, Again [WSJ] $$$ Duke Energy’s Latest C.E.O. Drama [DealBook] $$$ Goldman Pushes Subprime ABX Index as Housing Rebounds [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock, Rialto Dump Some of Their ‘Skin’ in CMBS Game [MarketBeat] $$$ Lindsay Lohan Gets Unsolicited Legal Advice from Manhattan Madam Kristin Davis [NYO]

$$$ Cliff Asness: The Hidden Tax Behind Wall Street Reform [WSJ] $$$ Banks’ Debt Addiction Said to Face Scrutiny at Basel Group [Bloomberg] $$$ Citigroup Joins Roster of Banks Advising Dell Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ Bloomberg: still really into the $83bn TBTF subsidy [Bloomberg, earlier, etc.] $$$ Ms. White got a warmer welcome from some members of the panel, which is set to vote on her nomination before it moves to the full Senate. "The more I find out about you, the more I like you," said Sen. Tom Coburn (R., Okla.), adding that he had already decided to support her nomination. Sen. Charles Schumer (D., N.Y.), introducing Ms. White at the beginning of the hearing, described the lighter side of a woman known mostly for locking up terrorists and mobsters. He told the packed hearing room that Ms. White served as chairman of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, likes to "crack open a cold can of Bud" and was effective on the basketball court as a member of a New York women's basketball league. [WSJ] $$$ A sinkhole swallowed a golfer on the 14th fairway [DM] $$$ A resource focused boutique investment bank is looking for an associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ An Asset Manager’s Guide to Swap Trading in the New Regulatory World [DPW] $$$ SEC asked Goldman to disclose more about illiquid assets - filings [Reuters] $$$ Funds pick Credit Suisse over UBS on revamp risks [Reuters] $$$ "There is nothing funny about these photos, in which Mitt Romney celebrates his 66th birthday by eating fluffernutter cupcakes and wearing a stupid birthday hat." [DI] $$$ 'Wolf of Wall Street' Gets $1M Pay Day for Movie Rights [FBN]

$$$ Knight Weighs Offers [WSJ] $$$ US banks call for easing of Basel III [FT] $$$ US banks increase retention of mortgages [FT] $$$ Instagram's CEO maybe lied to the California Corporations Department about whether Twitter offered to buy Instagram [NYT, cf. Felix Salmon] $$$ Peter Madoff Says He Was a Victim of Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi may or may not be engaged to a 27-year-old [Gawker] $$$ A leading buyside institution is looking for a senior investor relations specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Argentina got its boat back [Credit Slips] $$$ Aladdin Capital to pay $1.6 mln to resolve SEC charges [Reuters] $$$ U.S. agency sues JPMorgan over mortgage securities [Reuters] $$$ Calstrs Reviewing Cerberus Investment in Light of Newtown Shooting [Deal Journal] $$$ Elie Ayache, Author of the Black Swan [Wilmott]

$$$ Nasdaq, Carlyle Discussed Deal [WSJ] $$$ Investing in Water Good Long-Term Bet, Goldman Head Says [Bloomberg] $$$ U.S. judge speeds up schedule in Apple vs Einhorn case [Reuters] $$$ Here you can read a debate about central banking and bubbles [Free Exchange, Money Illusion] $$$ Sports Illustrated Celebrates Launch of the 2013 Swimsuit Franchise by ringing the bell at the NYSE [NYX] $$$ A leading boutique investment bank is looking for a Healthcare associate or VP in New York [DBCC] $$$ Porsche Manipulation Probe Extended to Supervisory Board [Bloomberg] $$$ Bank of New York loses bid for $900 mln tax benefit [Reuters] $$$ RBS chairman says CEO's pay is "modest" [Reuters] $$$ Maker’s Mark Is Watering Down Its Bourbon [Grub Street]