Steve Cohen Gives 215 Million (And Counting) Fingers To The Universe

In the news this week you will find two stories of men soothing what ails them through retail therapy: that of Friday Night Lights writer Buzz Bissinger, who confessed in the pages of GQ to spending over $600,000 at the House of Gucci in a leather fetish/bondage binge that resulted in him coming to own 'eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves' and Steve Cohen, who will not be held down by SEC settlements topping half a billion dollars or bulls-eyes on his back. Earlier this week it was reported that the SAC Capital founder had picked up Picasso's Le Rêve for $155 million as "a gift to himself" and now he's got a place to put it:
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In the news this week you will find two stories of men soothing what ails them through extreme retail therapy: that of Friday Night Lights writer Buzz Bissinger, who confessed in the pages of GQ to spending over $600,000 at the House of Gucci in a leather fetish/bondage binge that resulted in him coming to own 'eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves' and Steve Cohen, who will not be held down by SEC fines topping half a billion dollars or bulls-eyes on his back. On Tuesday it was reported that the SAC Capital founder had picked up Picasso's Le Rêve for $155 million as "a gift to himself" and now he's got a place to put it:

Mr. Cohen reached a deal last week to pay $60 million for an oceanfront property on Further Lane in East Hampton, on Long Island, according to a person with direct knowledge of the sale. The home, which was listed for sale late last week, is down the road from one he already owns.

And while there was supposedly a real need to buy the second Hamptons house (the first one does not have an ocean view, being obstructed by Jim Chanos's manse), and Le Rêve is nice to look at, he could have bought the house and painting at any time. These purchases were clearly one part "pick-me-up," two parts "fuck all y'all." Which raises the question:

What does he go for next? This is a real, legitimate concern: when you drop $200+ million on a picture and a display case in one week, what do you buy for an encore? Manhattan? A small to medium sized country? A-Rod's contract, just for the fuck of it? Six hundred million dollars worth of leather pants? Help him out here.

Hedge Fund Titan Buys Hamptons Property for $60 Million [Dealbook]
Earlier: Steve Cohen Bought Himself A Little Pick-Me-Up

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If You're Selling An Apartment In Manhattan, Just Call 203-890-2000 And Ask For Steve

Perhaps you thought that hedge fund manager Steve Cohen's recent need to indulge in a little retail therapy had been satisfied by the purchases of a $60 million Hamptons home and a $155 million painting. That dropping 200+ mill had made him feel better about certain things going on right now that are out of his control. That the bank was closed. Well you thought wrong! The East End house and the Picasso were apparently but a warm-up, which the Big Guy followed up by buying a building on Perry Street and, possibly, an apartment 6 blocks away.

Steve Cohen Needs To Go Stress Shopping, STAT

In objective terms, worse things have happened to Steve Cohen than the news he received today. The charges against Mathew Martoma re: allegedly masterminding the largest insider trading scheme ever during his time at SAC. Friday's arrest of high-ranking employee Michael Steinberg. The $614 million he needs to personally pony up to settle with the Securities and Exchange Commission (which he may not even be allowed to do without an admission of guilt). The slanderous claim his house clocks in at a mere 14,000 square feet. The circling of federal investigators who want him bad. And yet presumably none of that compares to today's hit, which must have him in a fury that only the purchase of the Mona Lisa can assuage.

Steve Cohen Bought Himself A Little Pick-Me-Up

As you may have heard, the last number of months have been a bit tough on hedge fund manager Steve Cohen. In November, one of his former employees, Mathew Martoma, was accused of orchestrating "the most lucrative insider trading scheme ever," in a criminal complaint in which Cohen was referenced as Portfolio Manager A. A week later, the Times lopped 21,000 square feet off his house. Earlier this month, he had the pleasure of setting the record for the largest insider trading fine ever, at $614 million, a sum that does not even put this whole thing behind him, as the settlement "doesn't preclude the Securities and Exchange Commission from pursuing Cohen himself in the future." So you'll excuse the Big Guy if he felt the need to indulge in a little retail therapy recently.

New York Mets Might Want To Savor Their Time Under The Tutelage Of Steve Cohen

...because they're about their last! SAC Capital Advisors founder Steven Cohen is the front-runner to purchase the Los Angeles Dodgers. Reports earlier this week indicated that Cohen's bid for the baseball team was a couple hundred million dollars less than that made by former baseball executive Stan Kasten and Los Angeles Lakers legend Magic Johnson. But Cohen's bid now matches the Kasten-Johnson offer of $1.6 billion—and at least half of Cohen's purchase price would come in the form of cash. Indeed, Cohen, who last month bought a small stake in the New York Mets, which he would have to give up if approved to buy the California team, may already be planning for the Dodgers' future. He has reportedly spoken with former Major League manager Tony La Russa about taking the team over under a Cohen regime. [FinAlternatives]