$$$ Gold Sinks Into Bear Territory [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Switches Risk Model Again After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ US Senate scales back insider law [FT] $$$ Spain Eases Rules in Move Seen Helping Convicted CEO [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Credit Suisse trader pleads guilty in MBS case [Reuters] $$$ Mayo Tells Wells Fargo Execs Results ‘Stunk’ [Deal Journal] $$$ When options trading ahead of deals raises eyebrows [Reuters] $$$ Notes from the DoubleLine Lunch with Jeffrey Gundlach, Spring 2013 [Reformed Broker] $$$ Doubts over new CDS futures [IFR] $$$ High-Speed Trader Said to be Considered for SEC Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Billionaire Koch Wins $12 Million Verdict in Wine Trial [Bloomberg] $$$ Sarasota Man Steals Ten Cans Of Axe Deodorant From Publix Store, Assaults Security Guard, Broken Bicycle Chain Foils Getaway [Global Dispatch]

$$$ Knight Weighs Offers [WSJ] $$$ US banks call for easing of Basel III [FT] $$$ US banks increase retention of mortgages [FT] $$$ Instagram's CEO maybe lied to the California Corporations Department about whether Twitter offered to buy Instagram [NYT, cf. Felix Salmon] $$$ Peter Madoff Says He Was a Victim of Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi may or may not be engaged to a 27-year-old [Gawker] $$$ A leading buyside institution is looking for a senior investor relations specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Argentina got its boat back [Credit Slips] $$$ Aladdin Capital to pay $1.6 mln to resolve SEC charges [Reuters] $$$ U.S. agency sues JPMorgan over mortgage securities [Reuters] $$$ Calstrs Reviewing Cerberus Investment in Light of Newtown Shooting [Deal Journal] $$$ Elie Ayache, Author of the Black Swan [Wilmott]

$$$ There's an EU summit going on [Bloomberg] $$$ There was a Supreme Court decision today [Slate] $$$ EFSF/ESM 2ndary market bond purchases wouldn’t bring much relief [Megan Greene] $$$ Neither will Eurobonds [EconoMonitor] $$$ JPMorgan to announce $5bn ‘whale’ loss [FT] $$$ Local Porn Stars Will Make Good on Offer to Give Anyone a BJ After Heat Championship [Miami New Times] $$$ BoNY Mellon is looking for a prime brokerage salesperson in Jersey City [DBCC] $$$ PIMCO's Gross: U.S. is "best of the worst" investment [Reuters] $$$ Moody’s downgrades eight Brazilian banks [FT] $$$ Cravath, Swaine & Moore Names a New Leader [DealBook] $$$ Are Shareholders Ruining Corporations? [Gawker] $$$ Italy 2 - 1 Germany [WSJ]

$$$ Manufacturing Slowdown Reaches U.S. [WSJ] $$$ Eurozone unemployment hits record high [FT] $$$ The Fishing Guide Who Hooked Hedge-Fund Titan Bill Ackman [Forbes] $$$ Finns, Dutch cast first doubt on euro zone deal [Reuters] $$$ Old Mitt’s Investment in a Fetus-Disposal Company Is Not a Great Thing for New Mitt [DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an executive director to manage its Latam FX options market-making book [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan Tightens Bond Grip As Whale Loss Weighs [Bloomberg] $$$ Esma probes agencies’ views on banks [FT] $$$ Physicists Inch Closer to Proof of Higgs Boson [NYT] $$$ Justin Bieber Graduates High School [NYT]

$$$ Icahn Reports Big Stake in Herbalife; Shares Jump [WSJ] $$$ Thursday M&A Craze Shakes Up League Tables [WSJ] $$$ Big hedge funds fueled fourth-quarter dive in Apple shares [Reuters] $$$ RIM’s old CEO is so impressed with BB10 that he dumped all of his 26.8M shares in the company [VB] $$$ 'Frustrated' Madoff Now Second Guessing His Guilty Plea [CNBC] $$$ Surprise! Royal Bank of Scotland is Hiring [EFC] $$$ At Senate Hearing, Warren Comes Out Swinging [DealBook] $$$ Citadel climbs to top as big winner at 2012 Absolute Return Awards [HFI] $$$ JPMorgan’s Gulati to launch own fund [FT] $$$ Flushing Your Anti-Anxiety Pills Down the Toilet Could Affect the Behavior of Wild Fish [Smithsonian]

$$$ IIF Bank Group: Greek Debt Buyback Likely To Reach Target [WSJ] $$$ Doing the Shareholder Sidestep [DealBook] $$$ Netflix CEO Hastings Faces SEC Action Over Facebook Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Rush to set up ‘ultra-short’ bond funds [FT] $$$ Bain leads private equity firms in use of low-tax payouts [Reuters] $$$ Financial Times Discovers Hip-Hop Slang From Last Century [DI] $$$ A multi-billion-dollar asset management firm is looking for a quantitative execution junior equities trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Partners’ Stake in Goldman Sachs Rises [DealBook] $$$ Defaulted Bondholders Undeterred as Gains Hold [Bloomberg] $$$ Will JPMorgan's 'Jes' Staley Jump Ship? [CNBC] $$$ Brooklyn couple makes breakup video to announce split to their friends [NYDN via Kevin Roose] $$$ Snoop [Lion] Asked Himself a Question About His Own Weed Habits on Reddit [NYO]

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

$$$ Hopes for central bank action mount [FT] $$$ Mohamed El-Erian: "There is only so much central banks can do" [FT] $$$ Got Cash in Greek Banks? Don't Pull It! [NetNet] $$$ Hedge fund closures hit 2-year high in 1st quarter [Reuters] $$$ A "driven, even obsessive entrepreneur with a proclivity for micromanagement" who is unlikely to take his company public [NYTM] $$$ Also, bath salts [Spin] $$$ "Looking like Jesus can have a very powerful effect on people. When I appeared on stage as Jesus for the first time, a man saw me and collapsed into tears. Looking like this in daily life can be interesting. When I go into bars, for example, I always see people nudging each other. Invariably someone will come up to me with a bottle of water and ask me to turn it into wine. That happens a lot. I was on a date once in a wine bar, and we ended up with three tables joined together with everyone wanting to re-enact the Last Supper using the wine and the bread. It was strange, but fortunately the girl I was with thought it was fun." [FT] $$$ MetLife is looking for an associate director level credit derivatives trader in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ In Motion, Facebook Lays Out Defense and Highlights Nasdaq’s Missteps [DealBook] $$$ Gupta Jurors Saw American Dream and Convicted [Bloomberg] $$$ The JPMorgan Whale’s regulatory motive [FTAV] $$$ "Can We Watch Some European Football Please?" asks Jim O'Neill [GSAM] $$$ The NFL will let fans pay for All-22 footage [WSJ] $$$ For one protester, 'Occupy' becomes a way of life [Reuters]