$$$ Spain to spend billions on bank rescue [FT] $$$ Facebook Kicks Off Roadshow With Zuckerberg in Hoodie [WSJ] $$$ Shareholder Calls for Chesapeake to Be Open to Offers [DealBook] $$$ How venture capital is broken [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The "Gentleman Groper" was only a gentleman, not a groper [NYP, earlier] $$$ Stocks Could Sell Off but Not Swoon: Technicians [CNBC] $$$ How would you like to be a senior derivatives trader at Aegon? It's in Baltimore. [DBCC] $$$ Should Benchmark Indices Have Alpha? Revisiting Performance Evaluation [NBER] $$$ An FDA for financial innovation remains a terrible idea [John Cochrane] $$$ Yahoo Board Is Said to Meet Today, Discussing CEO Scott Thompson [Bloomberg] $$$ Dinosaur flatulence, belching may have contributed to warming Earth, killing them off [AP]

$$$ Icahn Reports Big Stake in Herbalife; Shares Jump [WSJ] $$$ Thursday M&A Craze Shakes Up League Tables [WSJ] $$$ Big hedge funds fueled fourth-quarter dive in Apple shares [Reuters] $$$ RIM’s old CEO is so impressed with BB10 that he dumped all of his 26.8M shares in the company [VB] $$$ 'Frustrated' Madoff Now Second Guessing His Guilty Plea [CNBC] $$$ Surprise! Royal Bank of Scotland is Hiring [EFC] $$$ At Senate Hearing, Warren Comes Out Swinging [DealBook] $$$ Citadel climbs to top as big winner at 2012 Absolute Return Awards [HFI] $$$ JPMorgan’s Gulati to launch own fund [FT] $$$ Flushing Your Anti-Anxiety Pills Down the Toilet Could Affect the Behavior of Wild Fish [Smithsonian]

$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

$$$ Participation in Greek Bond Swap Seen Falling Short [WSJ] $$$ Brazil becomes sixth biggest economy. Parabéns! [FT] $$$ The Lone Tweeter of Deutsche Bank [BW] $$$ Market Correction 'No Big Thing': Ken Langone [CNBC] $$$ Watson follows the well-worn path from endearing computer geek to fratty banking analyst [DI] $$$ A global investment bank is looking for mid level experienced equity derivatives marketers - apply before Matt does! [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Sachs: Social Security and Medicare Are 'Weaker' Promises Than Debt [Bloomberg] $$$ Former Porsche CFO charged with fraud [FT] $$$ Russian millionaire seeks mansion approval [Greenwich Time] $$$ Centerbridge Bridge Boss Jeff Aronson Buys Stress-Free Central Park West Roost [NYO] $$$ Consider the numéraire. Or don't, gah. [CNBC] $$$ Apparently "Wall Street's favorite lunch spot" is on 29th Street [BI]

$$$ Foreclosure Settlement Amounts to Peanuts for Most Borrowers [AB] $$$ FBI probes trading as KPMG quits as Herbalife, Skechers auditor [Reuters] $$$ Big Dell Shareholder Prefers Two Rival Bids [DealBook] $$$ Ackman may be eyeing exit as JC Penney bet in tatters [Reuters] $$$ The leverage story banks want to hide [FT] $$$ DirecTV Adds DogTV Channel to Appeal to Canine Audience [Bloomberg] $$$ Regulators Are Concerned About Municipal-Bond Deals [WSJ] $$$ Activist Investors Find Allies in Mutual, Pension Funds [CNBC] $$$ Pimco's Gross Turns Positive on 10-Year Treasurys [WSJ] $$$ Swap traders’ morning fix under scrutiny [FT] $$$ Former Vice Mayor of Tennessee Town Accused of Terrorizing Dozens of Women with ‘Drive-By Masturbation’ [Gawker]

$$$ Facebook to List on Nasdaq [WSJ] $$$ Egan-Jones Cuts US Credit Rating to 'AA,' Citing Debt [CNBC] $$$ Swiss Are Tested on Franc [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies Ends First Quarter With Short Position on Spain [Bloomberg] $$$ ABS shows Greek bonds can pay par [IFR] $$$ Hyenas Give Up Scavenging For Lent [LiveScience via The Hairpin, related?] $$$ Like the NYSE, we’ll be off tomorrow. Enjoy the long weekend and we'll see you Monday. $$$ Jobs News Could Be So Good That It's Bad. Or vice versa? [WSJ] $$$ Architect of Fed’s ‘Operation Twist’ quits [FT] $$$ Kozlowski Is Turned Down for Parole [DealBook] $$$ The Vulcan/Martin Marietta takeover fight is pretty nasty [Dealpolitik] $$$ Why You Should Learn to Love Pink Slime [The Atlantic / Adam Ozimek] $$$ Beer is not the main cause of the the beer belly [Guardian]

$$$ Dow Hits Highest Close Ever [WSJ] $$$ Venezuela's Hugo Chavez dies from cancer [Reuters] $$$ FBI joins SEC in computer trading probe [FT] $$$ Wall Street 'Deal Toy' Indicator Flashes a Bullish Sign [CNBC] $$$ A Friendly Conversation with a Banker [The Billfold] $$$ There Is A Petition To Make R Kelly's “Ignition (Remix)” The National Anthem [BuzzFeed] $$$ An international trading house is looking for a Dodd-Frank compliance officer for its swap dealer business [DBCC] $$$ Citigroup Books $579M for Pay Plan Shareholders Panned [Bloomberg] $$$ Board Patience Wears Thin at Penney [WSJ] $$$ Buybacks, M&A, and de-equitisation [FTAV] $$$ ISDA to Send Credit-Default Swaps Changes to Traders [MarketBeat] $$$ The FBI is looking for a drone, if you've seen it [FBI]