CBS Introduces Veeven A. Cohen To The World

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Hedge fund honcho Steve Cohen made the jump from Wall Street to Main Street this week when a character loosely based on him appeared on a CBS crime drama. In a story ripped from the headlines, Thursday night’s “Person of Interest” centered on a hedge fund’s insider-trading scandal gone awry. The show’s hedge fund was called VAC Capital. Cohen’s firm is SAC Capital. “I almost fell off the couch laughing,” one viewer told The Post about the show’s thinly veiled reference to Cohen’s $16 billion fund. There were more similarities. The show centered on a doctor who told a young trader at VAC that a drug trial he was overseeing was “about to fail.” The trader earned VAC $500 million on the insider tip, which he called “black edge.” SAC’s traders have also reportedly called such tips “black edge.” In the show, the doctor confronts the trader, who blames his boss, the head of VAC. “You don’t understand. The boss is on my ass 24/7. Either [I] get black edge or [I’m] out.” “Black edge?” the doctor asks. “Inside information that no one else has,” the trader replies. [NYP]

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Time was, Steve Cohen told the Feds where they could go. No matter how much heat they put on him, the Big Guy would not burn. If they wanted to relentlessly circle him in an attempt to find evidence of insider trading, that was fine by Steve. But he wasn't going to act like he gave a rat's ass and he certainly wasn't going to wilt under the scrutiny or draw the blinds at Casa Cohen and curl up in a ball to cry. This time two years ago, despite SAC receiving a subpoena from the government, the FBI raiding the firms of several former SAC employees, and an analyst being asked to wear a wire while chatting him up, Cohen not only hopped on a private plane to attend Art Basel, but he did so with a smile on his face. ("Cohen," the Journal reported, was in "jovial spirits and eager to chat about his fresh art acquisitions," which included a "large-scale map of the world made from tin cans" that he bought in the first five minutes of the fair opening.)  And while one could argue that the heat on Steve has been cranked up quite a bit more since then, we assumed he was dealing with it in typical Steve fashion, and would make it to Miami like always. So it was particularly troubling to hear this:

New York Times Finds A Weird Way To Kick Steve Cohen When He's Down

As you may have heard, things have not been going tremendously well for Steve Cohen of late. Two days before Thanksgiving, the government went public with its case against a former SAC Capital employee, Mathew Martoma, who it accused of masterminding the largest insider trading scheme ever. Cohen was neither charged nor mentioned by name in the criminal complaint, but he did make an appearance playing the role of "Portfolio Manager A," a part we have previously mentioned one does not want to portray, if it can be avoided. Then on Wednesday, it was disclosed that SAC had received a Wells notice, indicative of the SEC's plan to sue the fund and if that wasn't enough, sources also claimed investigators are considering naming Cohen personally in the suit, to boot. So things are not exactly going his way right now and what he could really use is a break. The government dropping all charges against Martoma and publicly stating it will stay out of the Big Guy's business forever starting right this second seems out of the question but even some small act of kindness would probably help. Allowing him to pass you on 95. Telling him he looks nice today. Asking, "Have you been working out?" Sending him humorous YouTube videos with a sweet note like, "Hang in there, bud. You're in my thoughts..." On the flip side, you know what he doesn't need? Wildly libelous claims that it's going to take a lot more than a "Correction" to forgive.