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SAC Capital Wants To Make Sure No One Makes Any Rash Decisions Here

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If anyone was considering redeeming from the fund, just slow down and think things through; you don't want to wake up in the morning and realize you've made the biggest mistake of your life, walking away from all this [gestures to warehouse full of fleece apparel].

Hedge fund SAC Capital Advisors, under pressure from a government investigation into insider trading, is adjusting its liquidity conditions again as a new deadline to pull out money looms next month. "We are offering our investors additional time to make their decisions as we are hopeful that the next few months will bring greater clarity surrounding the resolution of pending regulatory matters," said SAC Capital President Tom Conheeney.



Friendlier, More Flexible SAC Capital Now Making It Easier For Clients To Leave (Though They Hope You'll Stay!)

Time was, SAC Capital didn't give a rat's ass what outside investors thought of it. No lip service was paid, no gestures of friendliness offered. Wanted to get your money out ASAP? SAC didn't give a fuck. You'd wait a year and you'd like it (and wouldn't dare think about asking for entree again). Now, though, thanks to the work of a former employee named Mathew Martoma, SAC has been forced to show a softer, friendlier, and frankly vaguely unnerving side. Instead of verbal abuse, employees have received pay raises. Instead of quarterly redemptions, this very uncharacteristically accommodating offer: