Write-Offs: 04.03.13

$$$ Cohn Says Banks Other Than Goldman, JPMorgan Retrenching [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Goldman trader Taylor pleads guilty to wire fraud [Reuters] $$$ Bundesbank launches Deutsche probe [FT] $$$ Bank of Canada searches far and wide for Carney's successor [Reuters] $$$ Huey Lewis and Weird Al Reenact Classic American Psycho Scene in Honor of Sports’ 30th Birthday [Gawker] $$$ Government Watchdog Faults Regulators Over Foreclosure Review [DealBook] $$$ Royal Bank of Scotland faces $6 billion investor action [Reuters] $$$ Money Is Memory [Izabella Kaminska] $$$ A man caught beating down a 56-year-old woman during a subway robbery in Borough Park wore a college fraternity sweatshirt with his nickname on it, law enforcement sources said. Aidan Folan, 21, was caught on camera wearing his favorite Alpha Phi Delta hoodie with custom lettering on the back that reads, "Stugotz 27," sources added. The Italian slang term roughly translates to "testicles" and is so loved by the suspect he chose it and the number "27" for his Facebook page, sources added. [NYP] $$$ Justin Bieber’s Pet Monkey Quarantined in Germany [Time]
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$$$Cohn Says Banks Other Than Goldman, JPMorgan Retrenching [Bloomberg]

$$$Ex-Goldman trader Taylor pleads guilty to wire fraud [Reuters]

$$$Bundesbank launches Deutsche probe [FT]

$$$Bank of Canada searches far and wide for Carney's successor [Reuters]

$$$Huey Lewis and Weird Al Reenact Classic American Psycho Scene in Honor of Sports’ 30th Birthday [Gawker]

$$$Government Watchdog Faults Regulators Over Foreclosure Review [DealBook]

$$$Royal Bank of Scotland faces $6 billion investor action [Reuters]

$$$Money Is Memory [Izabella Kaminska]

$$$A man caught beating down a 56-year-old woman during a subway robbery in Borough Park wore a college fraternity sweatshirt with his nickname on it, law enforcement sources said. Aidan Folan, 21, was caught on camera wearing his favorite Alpha Phi Delta hoodie with custom lettering on the back that reads, "Stugotz 27," sources added. The Italian slang term roughly translates to "testicles" and is so loved by the suspect he chose it and the number "27" for his Facebook page, sources added. [NYP]

$$$Justin Bieber’s Pet Monkey Quarantined in Germany [Time]

Related

Write-Offs: 06.04.12

$$$ Germany Pushes EU Bank Oversight [WSJ] $$$ Goldman CEO testifies at Gupta insider trial [Reuters] $$$ Lawyer Kluger Gets 12-Year Sentence For Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Lisbon to inject €6.6bn into largest banks [FT] $$$ Giant Prehistoric Insects Shrank To Escape Developing Birds [Bloomberg] $$$ PIMCO is seeking a Cash, Short Duration, and Income product associate in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ Stock Market Could Bounce, but Look Out Below [CNBC!] $$$ Dealer corporate bond inventories continue to shrink [Sober Look] $$$ HSBC tests cash machines in Athens for drachmas [ThisIsMoney via NYO] $$$ Bernie Madoff’s son and future daughter-in-law are desperately trying to land a downtown apartment but can’t — because building owners don’t want to be associated with them. Andrew Madoff and Catherine Hooper have tried to cover up their connection to the Ponzi schemer by making appointments under Hooper’s name. She then shows up alone to view the $20,000-per-month pads, brokers said. Hooper speaks generally, saying the space is for her, her fiancé and their children, the sources said. But once the brokers explain who Hooper is to the landlord, the couple is immediately rejected, the sources added. [NYP]

Write-Offs: 07.12.12

$$$ Excited for Whale day? [Reuters] $$$ Banks’ Libor costs may hit $22bn [FT] $$$ Bain Starts Raising Buyout Fund With $6 Billion Target [Bloomberg] $$$ PFG Employee Files Lawsuit for Wages so he could afford the new leash, harness and doggie bed he had bought for Apple, his terrier mix [FINS] $$$ Piggy bank has a new meaning in a town east of Vienna after a surveillance camera caught a wild pig on a night foray to a local branch of one of Austria’s financial institutions. The Austria Press Agency reports that the inquisitive porker managed to push open a locked sliding glass door of a bank in Hainburg an der Donau to make its way inside. After looking around, it left the same way it came without causing significant damage, with the door locking behind it. [AP] $$$ A prominent broker-dealer is looking for a junior non-agency mortgage trader [DBCC] $$$ Richard Posner: Why There Are Too Many Patents in America [Atlantic] $$$ Goldman recruits former Treasury spokesman [FT] $$$ In spite of the Barclays scandal, LIBOR product continues to do well [Sober Look] $$$ Here you will find NSFW pictures of dinosaur loving [Daily Mail]

Write-Offs: 03.12.13

$$$ Cliff Asness: The Hidden Tax Behind Wall Street Reform [WSJ] $$$ Banks’ Debt Addiction Said to Face Scrutiny at Basel Group [Bloomberg] $$$ Citigroup Joins Roster of Banks Advising Dell Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ Bloomberg: still really into the $83bn TBTF subsidy [Bloomberg, earlier, etc.] $$$ Ms. White got a warmer welcome from some members of the panel, which is set to vote on her nomination before it moves to the full Senate. "The more I find out about you, the more I like you," said Sen. Tom Coburn (R., Okla.), adding that he had already decided to support her nomination. Sen. Charles Schumer (D., N.Y.), introducing Ms. White at the beginning of the hearing, described the lighter side of a woman known mostly for locking up terrorists and mobsters. He told the packed hearing room that Ms. White served as chairman of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, likes to "crack open a cold can of Bud" and was effective on the basketball court as a member of a New York women's basketball league. [WSJ] $$$ A sinkhole swallowed a golfer on the 14th fairway [DM] $$$ A resource focused boutique investment bank is looking for an associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ An Asset Manager’s Guide to Swap Trading in the New Regulatory World [DPW] $$$ SEC asked Goldman to disclose more about illiquid assets - filings [Reuters] $$$ Funds pick Credit Suisse over UBS on revamp risks [Reuters] $$$ "There is nothing funny about these photos, in which Mitt Romney celebrates his 66th birthday by eating fluffernutter cupcakes and wearing a stupid birthday hat." [DI] $$$ 'Wolf of Wall Street' Gets $1M Pay Day for Movie Rights [FBN]

Write-Offs: 05.23.12

$$$ Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ] $$$ Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT] $$$ Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV] $$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO] $$$ Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl] $$$ "Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters] $$$ In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion] $$$ Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI] $$$ ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 08.30.12

$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]

Write-Offs: 07.16.12

$$$ Del Missier Says Diamond Told Him To Lower Libor Submissions [Bloomberg] $$$ Banks behave badly redux: Is it killing confidence? [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Sachs And The $580 Million Black Hole [NYT] $$$ Treasury probe cites officials for soliciting prostitutes, accepting industry gifts, FOIA docs reveal [TheHill] $$$ "What appeared to be sewing needles were found in sandwiches served in business-class cabins on four Delta Air Lines flights to the U.S. from Amsterdam on Sunday, the airline confirmed." $$$ Surveys Give Big Investors an Early View From Analysts [NYT] $$$ JPMorgan Blaming Marks on Traders Baffles Ex-Employees [Bloomberg] $$$ JPMorgan Has Bigger Worry Than ‘London Whale,' says Bové [CNBC] $$$ An Indecent Proposal From Sarah Silverman For Billionaire Sheldon Adelson, Involving Her Scissoring Him [SideSplitter]

Write-Offs: 04.10.13

$$$ Fed's Early Minutes Release Went to Some Banks [WSJ] $$$ Ex-SAC Trader Gets Court Permission for African Honeymoon [DealBook] $$$ Dimon Sees More Regulator Scrutiny After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ FBI found KPMG auditor via golf buddy, his lawyer says [Reuters] $$$ Goldman deal with union group lets Blankfein keep dual roles [Reuters] $$$ Underdog Undergrads From Jersey City Win Investing Competition [MarketBeat] $$$ Dodd-Frank 'Written in Anger,' Needs Fixing: Chamber CEO [CNBC] $$$ Chaos of rulings on toxic CDOs means uncertainty for investors [Reuters] $$$ Bank Investors Press Breakups to Add Value, Burnell Says [Bloomberg] $$$ 'Warehouse Games': Base Metals Supply Crunch on the Horizon? [AOL Energy] $$$ S&P, TrueEX Team Up on CDS Futures [WSJ] $$$ Beyonce and Jay-Z Cuba Trip Called ‘Educational’ by Treasury [Bloomberg]

Write-Offs: 12.17.12

$$$ Knight Weighs Offers [WSJ] $$$ US banks call for easing of Basel III [FT] $$$ US banks increase retention of mortgages [FT] $$$ Instagram's CEO maybe lied to the California Corporations Department about whether Twitter offered to buy Instagram [NYT, cf. Felix Salmon] $$$ Peter Madoff Says He Was a Victim of Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi may or may not be engaged to a 27-year-old [Gawker] $$$ A leading buyside institution is looking for a senior investor relations specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Argentina got its boat back [Credit Slips] $$$ Aladdin Capital to pay $1.6 mln to resolve SEC charges [Reuters] $$$ U.S. agency sues JPMorgan over mortgage securities [Reuters] $$$ Calstrs Reviewing Cerberus Investment in Light of Newtown Shooting [Deal Journal] $$$ Elie Ayache, Author of the Black Swan [Wilmott]