$$$ FBI Launches Criminal Inquiry Into Heinz Options Trading [WSJ] $$$ Herbalife Fourth-Quarter Profit Tops Analysts’ Estimates [Bloomberg] $$$ Greenlight shows 'likelihood of success' against Apple -judge [Reuters] $$$ One problem with paying interest on excess reserves is that you pay interest on excess reserves [FT] $$$ Blavatnik hits out at ‘arrogant’ JPMorgan [FT] $$$ "I use psychoanalytic theory to argue that the malevolent object of [Occupy Wall Street's] critique is the father, who, in fulfillment of the paternal function, forces socialization upon us. The world of artificial images is culture, seen from the standpoint of alienation. Their alternative, rooted in their authenticity, with themselves as models, doesn't amount to much." [SSRN via Bainbridge] $$$ "'If you want to protect yourself get a double barrel shotgun, you don't need an AR-15,' Biden said, referring to a type of semi-assault weapon. 'You don't need an AR-15, it's harder to aim, it's harder to use...buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.'" [TPM] $$$ A leading hedge fund administrator is seeking a project manager / business analyst [DBCC] $$$ OfficeMax, Office Depot in Talks to Merge [WSJ] $$$ Is Linn Energy ponzi-ish? [Bronte Capital] $$$ Institutional buyers jostle for position in new infrastructure debt market [Euromoney] $$$ Multimillion Diamond Heist at Brussels Airport [WSJ] $$$ A guy wrote a book that, unlike every other book, "paints a picture of a fast-moving, high-stakes, ego-fueled market controlled by a handful of traders. The champagne flowed when profit was strong, he said, but heads rolled over a single miscalculation." [DealBook] $$$ "[W]e are very well-versed in the legend of the power breakfast, but we will enhance it with our own culture ...” [NYP]

$$$ Markets are building up a tolerance to Eurozone blather [Sober Look, RTE] $$$ Germany set to allow eurozone bailout fund to buy troubled countries' debt [Guardian] $$$ EU official says Greek bailout terms up for talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Stuck With a Defense Tab, and Awaiting a Payback [DealBook] $$$ College graduates with arts majors are pretty employed [Gawker] $$$ Mark Ruffalo Joins Call for a Tax on Wall Street [DealBook] $$$ Surely you'd like to join Morgan Stanley's Structured Secured Funding desk in New York as an Executive Director? [DBCC] $$$ Walgreen to Spend $6.7 Billion on Alliance Boots Stake [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies profits hit by trading slump [FT] $$$ Nelson Peltz’s Trian Partners Takes Lazard Stake [II] $$$ BNY Mellon settles with Prudential Fin over forex trades [Reuters] $$$ Stay-Rich-Quick Schemes [McSweeney's]

$$$ Facebook Earnings Beat; Profit Margin Falls Sharply [CNBC] $$$ U.S. Economy Unexpectedly Contracts in Fourth Quarter [WSJ] $$$ Is Renaissance Technologies Falling off the Mark? [II Alpha] $$$ Draghi Bank of Italy Knew of Monte Paschi Missteps in ’10 [Bloomberg] $$$ New BlackBerry won't have BrickBreaker [DealBook] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a sales officer for trade finance solutions in New York [DBCC] $$$ Venezuela's bonds have had a 14.7% annual return [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman Sachs braces for bond market blow up [Fortune] $$$ Treasury Posts Losses on TARP Auctions [WSJ] $$$ "What is the problem with Internet trolls? Why do people dislike them so much? Is it just an example of following-the-herd mentality? Some kind of deeper prejudice? A love of bridges? What is the source of this animosity? Why does it perpetuate itself? Where did this prejudice come from?" [The Awl]

$$$ The power is back on in parts of downtown [DI] $$$ And it was never off at Goldman [DealBook] $$$ But the marathon is off [NYT, earlier] $$$ Berkshire Profit Climbs 72% on Derivatives, Railroad [Bloomberg] $$$ More Hedge Funds Close Up Shop as Returns Fizzle [Reuters] $$$ Jérôme Kerviel is the most indebted man in the world [Atlantic] $$$ Macquarie is looking for equity research associates in New York, including in the Oil & Gas, Business Services, Utilities, and Transportation & Logistics sectors [DBCC] $$$ SEC Asked Groupon for Financial Disclosures [WSJ] $$$ "The problem is that when you actually look at the documents from some of the troubled investments during the financial crisis, in many cases the disclosure was copious. There were warnings of the risks; investors just failed to heed the warning signs that should have led them to further investigation." [DealBook / Steven Davidoff] $$$ Goldman urges Supreme Court to end mortgage class-action [Reuters] $$$ E*Trade Reviews Practices on 'Best Execution' for Stock Trades [WSJ] $$$ Model Under Fire for Using Sandy Wreckage for Photo Shoot [ABC]

$$$ Spain finalises bank recapitalisation plan [FT] $$$ Bank of America's Moynihan tops list of worst performing CEOs [Fortune] $$$ "Nearly 46 percent of the revenue received by Merrill Lynch's Global Wealth Management unit last year came from just 21 percent of its top-producing brokers, about 2,500 people, according to copies of the reports reviewed by Reuters," which seems sort of low no? [Reuters] $$$ Goldman's trading "huddles" won't disqualify it from doing private placements [SEC.gov, earlier] $$$ Lawsuit Claims Texas Constable Forced Deputy to ‘Motorboat’ Her Breasts [ATL] $$$ A bank in New York is looking for a Basel II modeler - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Hedge Fund Inflows Slowing, a Report Indicates [DealBook] $$$ Peter Orszag seems to think strange things about the marginal utility of money [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ Carlyle Falls Below Offer Price as Rubenstein Plan Fails. FYI the plan was "have stock go up." [Bloomberg] $$$ Space-Taxi Race Gets a New Player [WSJ] $$$ Accused madam yelled at by judge after attempting to switch defense team again [NYP]

$$$ Wells Fargo Banker, Two Others Indicted on Insider-Trading Charges [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America claims MBIA in default on senior notes [Reuters] $$$ The Queen of England seems to have had a fun tour of her Bank [Telegraph] $$$ DealBook Conference Was Impressive, Lucrative and Chummy, but it was no DBDRN [NYT] $$$ "Lloyd Blankfein … wears a suit that is notably baggy in its cut. The bagginess is unflattering. But it is a pinstripe suit, which is the Bat Signal of men of great influence, Wall Street's version of a rapper's Jacob the Jeweler medallion." [Gawker] $$$ Plot to castrate and kill Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden is foiled [NYP] $$$ How would you like to be a TIAA-CREF wealth management advisor in Fargo, ND? [DBCC] $$$ Obama’s Bet on GM Hangs on Revamped Silverado Pickup [Bloomberg] $$$ Hostess Said to Attract Bids From Wal-Mart, Kroger [Bloomberg] $$$ "But the decisions in the Argentine litigation do seem to go a long way toward transforming the pari passu clause from a rule of rank into a prohibition on preferences. And if this is right, is there any reason to think the holdings will be confined to the sovereign context?" [DealBook / Stephen Lubben] $$$ U. Chicago Receives Weird Mystery Package Addressed to Indiana Jones [NYO] $$$ "Afterward, the employees — chosen by lottery — nibbled on pigs in blankets and sushi rolls and met with Tyson Chandler of the New York Knicks. But one employee apparently was more interested in an autograph from his boss, coming up to ask Mr. Dimon to sign his ticket. The chief executive complied." [DealBook]

$$$ Ben Bernanke is pretty sure the thing he's doing is not a horrible idea [FRB] $$$ Four Charged in U.K. Insider-Trading Probe [WSJ] $$$ Hedge Fund Jana Partners Takes Aim at Agrium [WSJ] $$$ In Goldman Programmer Case, a Way Around Double Jeopardy [DealBook] $$$ "The idea is that while equity owners - management - are like owners of call options on the assets of a firm (aka the Merton Model), banks are like down-and-out call option owners, because if their book equity goes down too far they will be forced into a fire-sale or liquidated by regulators. This is a barrier option, and has the interesting property that its vega - the derivative of the value of the equity with respect to asset volatility - is negative when it gets close in value to its barrier." [Falkenblog] $$$ Looking at cats on the internet makes you more productive at playing games on the internet [Wonkblog] $$$ Shia LaBeouf rescues sea lion [tv3.ie] $$$ Citi Capital Advisors is looking for a director of hedge funds risk management in New York [DBCC] $$$ DVA, one half of Dealbreaker will miss you [WSJ] $$$ LIBOR may converge with CD rates [Sober Look] $$$ Equity Trading and the Allocation of Market Data Revenue [FRB] $$$ "A Miami-bound American Airlines flight made an emergency landing at JFK when a row of passenger seats became unbolted and dangerously slid around like a carnival ride ..." [NYP] $$$ In urban Taiwan, indoor shrimp fishing is booming [LAT] $$$ "Queens teacher suing city claiming he was beaten up by a first-grader"; the pictures are superb [NYP]

$$$ A Nobel Prize for Market Design [Digitopoly via @Counterparties] $$$ Study shows $1.2 trillion gap for public pensions [Reuters] $$$ RBS Said to Suspend European Rates Trading Head on Libor [Bloomberg] $$$ Softbank to Buy Sprint Nextel for About $20 Billion [WSJ] $$$ "The study's results identified three factors that groups with high team intelligence possess: The ability of group members to read and respond to social cues; The proportion of women in the group (women tend to do better on social perception tests); Evenly distributed conversational turn-taking, rather than dominance by a few members." [HBR] $$$ Paul Ryan Scrubs Already Washed Soup-Kitchen Pots Because That’s How Much He Cares [DI] $$$ A top investment bank is looking for a director-level global markets risk senior manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Names Bayo Ogunlesi to Its Board [DealBook] $$$ Basel liquidity rules and their impact on the interbank money market [VoxEU] $$$ "Squirrels don’t lobby Congress, when the ranger decides to burn down the bit of the forest where their acorns are buried. Banks and their creditors are unlikely to take 'controlled burns' of their institutions so stoically." [interfluidity] $$$ This is an amusing story about a research analyst screwing up a model to show a covered company needing $500mm of capital instead of the correct $50mm [Integrity Research Watch] $$$ Koch brothers’ company encourages employees to vote for Romney in mass mailing [NYDN]