Write-Offs: 04.09.13

$$$ Foreclosure Settlement Amounts to Peanuts for Most Borrowers [AB] $$$ FBI probes trading as KPMG quits as Herbalife, Skechers auditor [Reuters] $$$ Big Dell Shareholder Prefers Two Rival Bids [DealBook] $$$ Ackman may be eyeing exit as JC Penney bet in tatters [Reuters] $$$ The leverage story banks want to hide [FT] $$$ DirecTV Adds DogTV Channel to Appeal to Canine Audience [Bloomberg] $$$ Regulators Are Concerned About Municipal-Bond Deals [WSJ] $$$ Activist Investors Find Allies in Mutual, Pension Funds [CNBC] $$$ Pimco's Gross Turns Positive on 10-Year Treasurys [WSJ] $$$ Swap traders’ morning fix under scrutiny [FT] $$$ Former Vice Mayor of Tennessee Town Accused of Terrorizing Dozens of Women with ‘Drive-By Masturbation’ [Gawker]
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Write-Offs: 08.30.12

$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]

Write-Offs: 03.05.13

$$$ Dow Hits Highest Close Ever [WSJ] $$$ Venezuela's Hugo Chavez dies from cancer [Reuters] $$$ FBI joins SEC in computer trading probe [FT] $$$ Wall Street 'Deal Toy' Indicator Flashes a Bullish Sign [CNBC] $$$ A Friendly Conversation with a Banker [The Billfold] $$$ There Is A Petition To Make R Kelly's “Ignition (Remix)” The National Anthem [BuzzFeed] $$$ An international trading house is looking for a Dodd-Frank compliance officer for its swap dealer business [DBCC] $$$ Citigroup Books $579M for Pay Plan Shareholders Panned [Bloomberg] $$$ Board Patience Wears Thin at Penney [WSJ] $$$ Buybacks, M&A, and de-equitisation [FTAV] $$$ ISDA to Send Credit-Default Swaps Changes to Traders [MarketBeat] $$$ The FBI is looking for a drone, if you've seen it [FBI]

Write-Offs: 03.20.13

$$$ Fed Maintains $85 Billion Pace of Monthly Asset Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ Lenders Balk at New Cyprus Aid Plan [WSJ] $$$ Medvedev lambasts EU over Cyprus levy [FT] $$$ "A redesigned package may well go “the full Iceland”; look after the locals and shaft the foreigners." [Paweł Morski] $$$ SAC Capital up 4 percent this year as probe continues [Reuters] $$$ "So in the battle of the scumbags, who should we be rooting for? It's kind of like the Russians fighting the Germans during World War II because you want them both to lose." - Charlie Gasparino on Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn [HuffPo] $$$ "Nine top Barclays executives including Chief Executive Antony Jenkins and investment banking head Rich Ricci received £40.3 million ($60.8 million) in shares Wednesday from earlier-year incentive plans, a month after the bank said it would take a stricter line on pay." [WSJ] $$$ Bondholders withdraw claim Penney was in default on bond terms [Reuters] $$$ Synthetic CDOs Making Comeback as Yields Juiced [Bloomberg] $$$ UK-based cannabinoid therapeutics developer GW Pharmaceuticals files for US IPO [Renaissance Capital] $$$ "America's corporate boards could use a Martin Lipton 2.0." [Breakingviews] $$$ Hamptons Landlords Suing Over Reality-Show Semen Stains [DI]

Write-Offs: 08.01.12

$$$ Fed says economy may need help, keeps policy on hold [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Treasury to Develop Floating-Rate Notes [WSJ] $$$ Flood of Errant Trades Is a Black Eye for Wall Street [NYT] $$$ PokerStars Strikes U.S. Deal to Buy Full Tilt Poker [Bloomberg] $$$ Australian Billionaire Reportedly Planning to Clone a Dinosaur for Jurassic Park-Themed Resort [NYO] $$$ The Federal Highway Administration is looking for a financial policy advisor in D.C., if that might be of interest to you [DBCC] $$$ Nationalising RBS on the table [FT] $$$ The Facebook Flip: Funds Exit Early [WSJ] $$$ What the U.S. Postal Service Default Really Means [BBW] $$$ London mayor gets stuck on zip line during Olympic celebration [NYDN]

Write-Offs: 03.21.13

$$$ Cyprus Plans Bank Restructuring to Save Rescue [WSJ] $$$ S&P Cuts Rating on Cyprus by One Notch to Triple-C [Reuters] $$$ Hedge funds storm back into form [FT] $$$ Lululemon Sheer Yoga Pants Undetected Until Bend-Over Test [Bloomberg] $$$ Former MSNBC Host Dylan Ratigan Quit New York To Work On Hydroponic Organic Farm [TPM] $$$ Once-obese Goldman analyst becomes fitness evangelical, gym CEO [Reuters] $$$ Southeastern had eyed joining Dell buyout group [Reuters] $$$ Gold Giants Shrink to Fit as Paulson Pushes Breakup [Bloomberg] $$$ "And there was this dichotomy, like dumb versus smart money. We're smart money; they're dumb money. We are so smart that we deserve their money. It was essentially kind of an entitlement. And it was really unattractive to me. I spent a lot of time at lunch trying to understand the mindset of, like, how does being good at math give us the right to do this?" [EconTalk] $$$ A Watermelon, a Golf Course, a Horse, and Monstrous Dogs: 12 New Paintings from George W. Bush [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 03.26.13

$$$ Instead Of Doing His Job, Jeroen Dijsselbloem Has Given Us A Glimpse Of The Euro 'End Game' [BI] $$$ Paul Krugman thinks Cyprus should leave the Euro [NYT] $$$ RBS Split Not Ruled Out [WSJ] $$$ "Big Bank CEOs Must Rally Against Breakup Talk" [AB] $$$ "Texas, the Germany of America." [WaPo] $$$ Aspiring Model Scores State-Funded Boob Job After Convincing Doctor Her Flat Chest Was Causing Her ‘Emotional Distress’ [Gawker] $$$ Global pool of triple A status shrinks 60% [FT] $$$ Denmark Reviews Bail-In Law as ‘Terrorists’ Shape Banking [Bloomberg] $$$ Two Charged in Insider-Trading Case [WSJ] $$$ How the ‘London Whale’ trade could have been stopped [RWC&G] $$$ Ranking All 27 Seasons of The Real World [Vulture] $$$ Trump loses fight against wind farm [FT]

Write-Offs: 03.19.13

$$$ Cyprus Rejects Deposit Levy in Blow to European Bailout Plan [Bloomberg] $$$ Cyprus’s bad haircut day [Felix Salmon] $$$ Matt Yglesias's proposals for Cyprus include selling Northern Cyprus to Turkey and Ben Bernanke giving it a €5.8bn present [Slate] $$$ Florida Financier Charged in Facebook IPO Fraud [WSJ] $$$ Credit Suisse sacks around 12 from NY rates team [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Sachs’s Scialla Twins Leave for Home-Design Firm [Bloomberg] $$$ RBC is looking for a research associate to cover medical devices healthcare companies in New York [DBCC] $$$ Activist Fights Draw More Attention [WSJ] $$$ Ackman’s J.C. Penney Losses Signal Buyout Need [Bloomberg] $$$ NFL Teams With Private-Equity Firm to Seek Media, Tech Investments [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Probes Microsoft, Partners Over Bribery Claims [WSJ] $$$ Bigamist attorney, who secretly wed a stripper and got caught, suspended six months [NYDN]

Write-Offs: 02.26.13

$$$ U.S. Banks Had Second-Best Earnings Ever in 2012, FDIC Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Dimon Says Lenders to Have More Capital Than They Can Use [Bloomberg] $$$ Banks Fear Court Ruling in Argentina Bond Debt [DealBook] $$$ “'We are seeing some elements of precrisis behavior,' Mr. Marks said on Tuesday at the SuperReturn International 2013 conference. 'We are seeing people engaging in bullish behavior.'” [DealBook] $$$ AB InBev Overstates Alcohol in Budweiser, Lawsuit Claims [Bloomberg] $$$ Nassim Taleb book party tonight! [Book Culture] $$$ Best Buy takeover attempt by founder in jeopardy [Reuters] $$$ At Barnes & Noble, Interests of Top Executives Diverge [WSJ] $$$ It’s time to abolish the FHFA [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ New Stream Capital Executives Accused of Fraud [WSJ] $$$ Former CFO Sues T. Boone Pickens' Son [CNS]