Skip to main content

Bank Reform Bitch/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy Pays Jamie Dimon A House Call

  • Author:
  • Updated:

BRB, aka BBB, aka SP-RG, pictured above as one of her many personas, the EFF, outside Jamie Dimon's pad last week.

Her dispatch to DB re: JD, whose likeness she has slapped the ass of in the past: "After the Ethical Fiscal Fairy heard Jamie Dimon grumbling to insiders about intolerable regulatory pressure, EFF paid the banker a visit last Thursday night at his residence. Sprinkling some fairy dust outside the urban estate, EFF put a benevolent spell on Dimon from afar, hoping to kindly knock some common sense into him. And perhaps the fairy dust is working -- as of last week, JPMorgan made the striking announcement to exit the physical commodities markets. EFF is hopeful that this is a turn for the better, but with so many reported scandals, one can never be too sure. Curious neighbors that approached EFF last week told her that 'Mr. Dimon is really a nice guy.' Even so, said EFF, nice doesn't cut it. Mr. Dimon needs to be held accountable and appropriately punished either under Sarbanes Oxley, or by the Bank Reform Bitch, who on occasion has given the naughty Mr. Dimon very public spankings. Perhaps a combination of spankings and a healthy dose of fairy ethics would be the best approach."

Related: Spandex-Clad, Billy-Club Brandishing Roller Girl Also Moonlights As ‘Ethical Fiscal Fairy’; Spandex-Clad Roller Girl Was Not Only Prepared To Put Citi Execs Over Her Knee But Read Them Their Rights; Blow-Up Jamie Dimon Recieved An Ass Kicking Today; Noted 'Bank Reform Bitch' Also Makes Appearances As 'Desperate for Justice Housewife'; Bank Reform Bitch/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly Weighs In On Derivatives