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How Should Bill Ackman And Carl Icahn Settle This Thing Once And For All?

When Mark Hughs founded a multi-level marketing company called Herbalife in 1980, he probably thought it had the power to do a lot of things. Help people lose weight. Makes others rich. Shake up the diet industry. What he mostly likely did not expect, however, was that his li'l company that could would reignite a feud between two billionaires that would devolve into a flurry of press releases quibbling over who was dying to be friends with whom, shouting matches on live TV, and, we predict, someone telling someone else he has a right mind to "Rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You messed with the wrong hedge fund manager!"

Dan Loeb: Run For Your God Damn Lives

The Third Point founder's lost a lot of good friends to this market.

Dan Loeb Did Pretty Okay For Himself Last Month

He's got a fallback career as a ghostwriter of letters that will cause the recipients to piss their pants in fear but for now it looks like this whole hedge fund manager thing is panning out pretty well.