Phil Falcone Is Just Going To Start Suing Everyone

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Once the Harbinger founder got a taste of how good it felt to serve someone papers, he just couldn't stop. This morning it was the entire GPS industry; tomorrow, anyone who sold their LightSquared debt to Charlie Ergen, these guys, for not winning the Stanley Cup, and maybe the SEC, in some sort of countersuit. Which, if you were looking into the not too distant future, might go down something like this:

[Somewhere in midtown.]

Phil Falcone, to someone on the other line. It's not clear who it is, but we get the impression she hashooves: Have you seen this American Express bill?! I told you we need to be cutting BACK, not spending MORE right now. [pauses to listen to Unknown Caller's response.] Well maybe I don't care if Barney's had a mumu that was speaking to you. [pauses to listen to Unknown Caller's response, with increasing impatience.] Well maybe I don't care if you needed a pick-me-up, I told you we can't be borrowing from the fund anymore. [deafening shrieking on the other end of the phone.] I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just really stressed these days...

[A knock at the door.]

Phil Falcone: Listen, I gotta jump, my lawyer is here. [Unknown Caller interjects.] Yes, I'll remind him. No, I don't know why he hasn't done anything about it. We can't fire every lawyer who doesn't-- okay, really I have to get off. Chinese is good, I don't care. Love you too.

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Everything good?

Phil Falcone: Yeah, listen, did you get my memo about Wilbur's unpaid parking tickets?

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: I did...

Phil Falcone: Well are you going to do something about them?

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Mr. Falcone, like I've said in the past, I can't "do" anything about them. You just need to pay--

Phil Falcone: Bull shit! You must know someone who can take care of that kind of stuff.

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Again, no, I don't know anyone who can "take care of" that stuff.

Phil Falcone: Well I think you could probably come up with someone if you really wanted to.

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Right, so listen, what I came to talk about this this SEC matter--

Phil Falcone: Maybe an old law school buddy...

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: They are still intent on seeing you banned from the industry.

Phil Falcone: Someone in law enforcement...

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: And if they're successful, that's going to pose a problem for you in your capacity as a hedge fund manager.

Phil Falcone: A senator or a congressman or something or...

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Are you listening to anything I'm saying? They're going to ban you from the securities industry and we need to decide how to proceed.

Phil Falcone: They can go fuck themselves!

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Okay, sure, but--

Phil Falcone: Ban ME from the securities industry?!? We'll ban THEM from the securities industry!

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Mr. Falcone, the Securities and Exchange Commission can't be banned from--

Phil Falcone: File the papers!

Harbinger Deputy General Counsel: Mr. Falcone--

Phil Falcone: File the fucking papers! And then find out the names of those meter maids, we're gonna sue them too.

Falcone Adds Defendants in Effort to Keep LightSquared [Dealbook]
Harbinger Capital Sues Deere, Garmin, GPS Industry Over Spectrum Conflicts [WSJ]

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Who Wants To Invest In Phil Falcone's New Company?

Harbinger Global Corp is coming to an exchange near you. Phil Falcone, the embattled billionaire hedge fund manager, has put together an unorthodox IPO that will see his hedge fund firm contribute assets valued at $350 million to a blank check company that will trade publicly. In the deal, a special purpose acquisition company that is expected to trade on Nasdaq and be known as Harbinger Global Corp., will acquire a majority interest in an MGM-branded hotel and casino development in Vietnam and a minority interest in an iron ore producer working in Brazil. Funds run by Falcone’s Harbinger Capital Management that are contributing the assets will get an ownership stake that could be as high as 96% in Harbinger Global and Falcone is slated to become executive chairman of the company. Falcone’s move to become closely involved in a publicly-traded company is audacious given that he is currently facing securities fraud charges from the Securities & Exchange Commission. Yeah, well, people also thought it was audacious for him to invite a burlesque dancing pig he barely knew to come and live with him and she turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to him, so.

LightSquared Creditors Seek Permission To Go After Mrs. Phil Falcone's Shoe Collection

Remember Phil Falcone? Hedge fund manager about yea high? Cuts his hair like he's still playing professional hockey? Is betting the farm on a company called LightSquared that "seeks to create connectivity for all" but in doing so might "cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation" and filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last May? Anyway, LightSquared's creditors were in court today asking for the right to go after Big Phil/Harbinger, who they believe screwed them big time.

Phil Falcone Is Turning His Life Around

To put it lightly, the last couple years have been a rather dark time for Phil Falcone. Though his woes are too numerous to mention in full, they include: the adversity he's faced in getting people to believe in LightSquared; his unbelievably pissy investors, who still aren't over the time he borrowed $113 million from a gated fund to pay personal taxes, or offered to pay out redemptions in illiquid LightSquared equity; the Securities and Exchange Commission, which wants him banned from the industry for life; the woman who once offered a respite from it all, who now won't even come out of her room when she knows he's home; and, of course, the plunging returns in his once highly profitable hedge fund. It would be enough to make a grown man say 'Fuck, it. I'm done.' Put a few things in a sack, tie it to the blade of a hockey stick, and hitchhike back to Minnesota. But Phil didn't do that and now? After a merciless storm of shit that felt like it would never ease up? After long days of investors and regulators breathing down his neck and nights of having to pound on the front door because he was accidentally purposely locked out of the house? The tide feels like it's turning for Philip Falcone. Beleaguered hedge fund honcho Phil Falcone’s big bet on his own publicly traded entity, Harbinger Group, is helping to lift his troubled hedge fund, Harbinger Capital Management, out of the deep end. Falcone’s flagship fund posted returns of 10.6 percent in July and a whopping 28 percent gain in June. Of course, he's still down 5.8 percent year-to-date, and the the director of the SEC's division of enforcement wants hedge fund graduate schools to use Harbinger as a case study during the unit on "how to operate a hedge fund unlawfully," but tonight? Tonight he tells Lisa to treat herself to something nice. Tonight he tells Wilbur to pull the baby grand out of the closet, where it's sat untouched for months. Tonight his key works in the lock. Tonight we dance. Phil Helps Himself [NYP]