Tim Geithner Cannot Catch A Break: Indignities Of The Department Of Motor Vehicles Edition

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You would think that after busting his ass for four miserable years, getting (figuratively, that we know of) pissed on by his boss, fucked with by Joe Biden, shat on by heads of public companies, and bitched out by John Mack, that things could go his way, just once. That after having surgery to remove a gigantic kidney stone, being forced to watch his vacant Larchmont home sit on the market, having to reduce his asking price for a first and then second time, the stars could once-- just once!-- align in his favor. You would think all of this, but you would be wrong.

Just hours after the New York Times reported Thursday that he’d turned down President Barack Obama’s offer to succeed Ben Bernanke as Fed chairman, The Journal News spotted a frazzled-looking Geithner at the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Yonkers, trying to switch his Maryland driver’s license and vehicle tags back to his New York address. Geithner, who helped steer the White House’s response to the financial crisis, has doubtless faced more stressful circumstances, but his Thursday night trip to the DMV was far from smooth sailing. “We’re having glitches,” said his wife, Carole Geithner, who was waiting patiently on a nearby bench as her husband spoke with the DMV agent. “Even though we brought every document known to man to do it, the bar code on his license was worn out, so that’s a problem,” she said. “And now, I don’t know why — with one of (the cars), they’re having trouble transferring it.”

But at least the Yonkers DMV was staying open until 7:30 p.m. under a pilot program to test extended hours. “I would be freaked if it were a five-o’clock closure,” Carole Geithner said around 6 p.m. Thursday. Her husband wasn’t available to comment.

Whatever you think of TG, whether you appreciate his service to his country or not, you cannot help but feel for someone having to suffer through an evening at the DMV, where he probably had all kinds of documents proving who he was, including, y'know, HIS FACE and maybe a dollar bill with his god damn signature on it, but was told that he couldn't use both his passport and birth certificate, which counted as the same type of proof.*

Larchmont's Tim Geithner, former treasury secretary, finds woes at Yonkers DMV [lohud]
*Or that his Dartmouth transcripts were too faded to count for the two point document. Or that his U.S. Supermarket Check Cashing card had expired the week prior, making it ineligible for the one-pointer.

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Tim Geithner's Father-In-Law Sounds Like A Delightful Drunk*

Make what you will of this somewhat bizarre story but our takeaway is that the Treasury Secretary's FIL would make a great party guest and/or Benihana tablemate. Food critic Albert Sonnenfeld, whose daughter, Carole, is wed to the country’s top money man, stunned strangers at Bar Boulud Thursday night when he claimed President Obama’s nomination of Dartmouth College president Dr. Jim Yong Kim to head the World Bank was part of a plan to allow Geithner to take over the Ivy League school’s top post...“That’s why Obama nominated [Kim] for the World Bank — so that there’d be an opening,” Sonnenfeld claimed to a dinner companion at the eatery’s communal table. Seated with five other couples he didn’t know, Sonnenfeld indiscreetly claimed Geithner has since changed his mind. “They offered him the presidency of Dartmouth. But now he doesn’t want it,” said the gabby granddad. “He wants something else...Sonnenfeld also let slip that Carole Geithner “can’t wait to get out” of DC because “she has to hold her nose and entertain all these Republicans.” Sonnenfeld added, according to the witness, “Some of them she actually liked, like Jim Bunning from Kentucky. But now he’s gone. Can you imagine having to entertain John Boehner and his wife, with his fake tan?” Geithner spokesman Anthony Coley told us, “Interesting theory about Dartmouth, but to paraphrase Kissinger: ‘It has the disadvantage of being made up.'" [NYP] *It's not actually clear if he was drinking. If this is how he is sans sauce, all the better.

Let's Help Tim Geithner Name His Book

As you may have heard, Obama is apparently close to nominating Jack Lew for Treasury Secretary, giving Tim Geithner his late Christmas wish: a one-way ticket outta there. And while he's previously said to have no interest in writing about his time in Washington (and at the NY Fed before that), friends o' TG claim that his plan for the next year or so involve "a round of 'detox' and writing a book." Obviously we're still very far off from anything concrete but publishers will undoubtedly be banging down his door in no time and when they do, it might be nice to at least have a title to wet their palates. While Geithner packs his bags, let's do him a solid and come up with some options. The year spent sunning himself off the coast of Ko Samui (or puttering around Larchmont, or taking a job with the least amount of responsibility possible, whatever the detox entails) will presumably do wonders to take the edge of the last 48 months but if he's still in an angsty phase by the time he sits down to bang out his story, perhaps one of the following would work?