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Story Of Pershing Square's Investment In JC Penney Is Over

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And it has ended with the handsome prince, practically perfect in every way, being forced to sell his shares in the company. He tried as hard as he could to change them for the better, but in the end, you can't help people who won't help themselves.

August 20, 2013: "We have had three failures on the long side: Borders Group, Target, and J.C. Penney. Clearly retail is not our strong suit and this is duly noted...While the story of our investment in J.C. Penney is not over yet..." August 26, 2013: "Hedge-fund manager Bill Ackman's Pershing Square Capital Management LP is dumping its entire stake of nearly 18% in J.C. Penney Co. after a failed push to change the retailer's management."

In conclusion, the first step to solving your problem is admitting you have a problem in the first place. Bill Ackman can't do that for you. Sure, he can show you a few charts, and put on a nice little video show to point you in the right direction. But until you, as a company, can readily admit that you can't do it yourself; that you can't close shit because *you are shit*; that it's not the leads that are weak but that it's you who is fucking weak; that you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight and Bill Ackman drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW...well, that problem is here to stay. Whereas Bill Ackman has moved on to a company that knows when to say, "Help us. Help us, Bill. This is our most desperate hour. You're our only hope."

Ackman to Sell Entire Stake in J.C. Penney [WSJ]
Earlier: "While the story of our investment in J.C. Penney is not over yet..."


Pershing Square: Herbalife Silenced Us

Earlier today it was noted that, to the surprise of many, Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn had refrained from asking questions or dialing in and making sudden outbursts during this morning's conference call to discuss Herbalife's fourth quarter earnings.  Obviously this came as a shock on account of Ackman and Icahn taking many opportunities in the past to share their feelings re: the company and each other. And while it's true both men personally held their tongue's today, according to Pershing Square, one of its analysts had planned to ask questions on Bill's and the hedge fund's behalf but was shot down.