Emergency summit called re: Greece; IPO market heating up again; "Angry Softball Man Leaves Insane Voicemail After Being Moved To Outfield"; and more.

$$$ Spain's Recession to Linger as Austerity Bites [WSJ] $$$ Euro Bailout Bid Gets Vote Of No-Confidence [Bloomberg] $$$ As the Justice Department weighs the possibility of criminal charges in the unfolding Libor rate-setting scandal, it may want to consider the record of the Swiss banking giant UBS. At UBS, a series of immunity, nonprosecution and deferred prosecution agreements in recent years — evidently the government’s preferred approach to corporate crime — seems to have had scant, if any, deterrent effect. “It’s depressing,” Representative Peter Welch, Democrat of Vermont, a member of the House oversight committee, told me this week after we discussed UBS’s recent transgressions. “The Justice Department has to decide: Is the day of consent decrees and settlements, where you pay a fine, one passed on to shareholders, are those days over? Are the days of jail time here?” [NYT] $$$ Jamie Dimon Opens Wallet For JPMorgan Shares, Picks Up 500000‎ [Forbes] $$$ Someone stole hundreds of David Hasseloff life-sized cutouts [NYDN] $$$ Credit Suisse chair says board backs Dougan [Reuters] $$$ Ex-BofA Executive Indicted For Fraud In Municipal Bond Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ BMW ‘stolen’ from Hooters is found [WaPo]

Twitter chief Costolo out; IMF can't deal with Greece anymore; JPM shakes up banking team; "Texas Man Breaks Leg While Trying To Have Sex With Horse"; and more.

$$$ Bank Earnings: J.P. Morgan and Wells Fargo Preview [Deal Journal] $$$ JPMorgan Analysts Say Big Investment Banks Are ‘Uninvestable’ [Bloomberg] $$$ The state of investment banking today: Morgan Stanley’s definitive guide [eFC] $$$ To trade or not to trade, when the Fed sends you inside info [Reuters] $$$ How Do You Run Goldman Sachs Out of Town? [DI] $$$ The Winklevii have a lot of bitcoins [DealBook] $$$ Top Bankers Agree with Obama: Recovery Coming [FBN] $$$ Lisbon struggles to avoid second bailout [FT] $$$ Singer Denial Failing to Quell Win-Win Charge: Argentina Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ A New Look at the Role of Sovereign Credit Default Swaps [IMF] $$$ UBS cap intro chief Rob Sachs jumps to Bank of America [HFI] $$$ Man Tries to Saw Off His Arms at California Home Depot [ABC]

$$$ Behind Credit Default Swaps Market, a Cartel Left Open to Collusion [Dealbook] $$$ Jim Chanos: Hewlett Packard Is 'Ultimate Value Trap' [CNBC] $$$ Ackman Takes Activist Stance on P&G [CNBC] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein Said To Meet With Obama Adviser Lew [Bloomberg] $$$ Racketeering Charges Filed in Hedge Fund Divorce [NYO] $$$ Banker Tattoos [BuzzFeed] $$$ ...every so often, Ackman and his wife whirl through their Rolodexes and invite their unattached friends to come on over to their place and spend a few hours meeting other singles. In this day and age of internet dating, the Ackmans like to give that stressful process a personal touch. And last night was one of those nights when the man who runs $10 billion Pershing Square Capital Management and his wife Karen, who trained as a landscape architect, threw open the doors and hoped for the best. While no officials statistics have been kept, people who have attended the events say plenty of people have found their mates here. At this week’s event? Roughly 200 people attended, according to someone who was there. [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand's biggest city have revealed." [Telegraph] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: U.S. Insider Trading Investigation Winding Down (Maybe) [FBN] $$$ Ex-JPMorgan Banker Admits Role in Muni Bid-Rigging Scheme [Reuters] $$$ Paulson, Rubin Warn on Dangers of 'Fiscal Cliff' [CNBC] $$$ WWII Shipwreck Yields $38 Million of Silver From Atlantic [Bloomberg] $$$ High school kid accused of running in a potential $3 million marijuana ring. [CP]

The hedge funds that DID make (lots) of money in 2015; Pot credit unions vs Federal Reserve; "Those $400 tickets to celebrate NYE at Olive Garden are actually selling fast "; and more.