Goldman faces mortgage suit; HSBC; How to tell if you're an asshole at the office; "Guy used his drone to deliver a packet of cigarettes straight to his window"; AND MORE.

$$$ Fed Seen Starting QE3 While Extending Rate Pledge to 2015 [Bloomberg] $$$ There's a new iPhone [NYT] $$$ EADS and BAE in tie-up talks [FT] $$$ Investors Ready for Wave of European Corporate Bonds [WSJ] $$$ Valiant Capital founder Chris Hansen is offering to buy a beer for everyone in Seattle [AR] $$$ JFK airport workers were arrested for stealing "tens of thousands of mini-bottles of liquor and duty-free merchandise from JFK International Airport" after an investigation called "Operation Last Call" [Fox] $$$ BlackRock's Beta Strategies team is looking for a portfolio manager [DBCC] $$$ J.P. Morgan Reorganizes Investment Banking [WSJ] $$$ Barclays Picks New Head of U.S. Rates Trading [WSJ] $$$ From Credit Suisse to Jerky: One Man's Dried Beef Odyssey [BW] $$$ Everyone involved in the Harvard cheating scandal is suing everybody else [IvyGate] $$$ "Police in Florida said a man using a credit card to buy beer was arrested after the bartender recognized the credit card as his own." [UPI]

$$$ Stocks Near New Heights as Small Investors Regain Faith [NYT] $$$ J.P. Morgan Risk Officer Taking Leave of Absence [WSJ] $$$ Soros Says Hedge Funds Can’t Beat Market Because of Fees [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Chairman proposes industry-wide settlement over Libor [Reuters] $$$ "One explanation for the confusion is that many things that are considered normal in finance look like fraud to almost everyone else." [Free Exchange] $$$ Outcry Over Bid to Make Water Cheaper Than Beer [WSJ] $$$ An investment management firm is looking for a senior investment associate to research credit hedge funds in D.C. [DBCC] $$$ Europe's Banks Rush to Repay ECB Funds [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Court Ruling Threatens Consumer Bureau Decisions [Bloomberg] $$$ Italy's Monte Paschi faces shareholder fury as scandal widens [Reuters] $$$ You may be surprised to learn that "the president and chairman of Mortgage Xpress, Inc. (subsequently renamed The Alternative Energy Technology Center, Inc.)" was sued by the SEC [SEC] $$$ Cory Booker Continues His Steady March Toward Canonization by Personally Saving a Stranded Dog from Freezing to Death [Gawker]