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Write-Offs: 10.20.15

JP Morgan to spin off private equity unit; Best business schools of 2015; Analyst says Apple TV could be a hit...someday; "County cop charged in testicle-biting incident no longer with department"; and more.

Write-Offs: 04.03.13

$$$ Cohn Says Banks Other Than Goldman, JPMorgan Retrenching [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Goldman trader Taylor pleads guilty to wire fraud [Reuters] $$$ Bundesbank launches Deutsche probe [FT] $$$ Bank of Canada searches far and wide for Carney's successor [Reuters] $$$ Huey Lewis and Weird Al Reenact Classic American Psycho Scene in Honor of Sports’ 30th Birthday [Gawker] $$$ Government Watchdog Faults Regulators Over Foreclosure Review [DealBook] $$$ Royal Bank of Scotland faces $6 billion investor action [Reuters] $$$ Money Is Memory [Izabella Kaminska] $$$ A man caught beating down a 56-year-old woman during a subway robbery in Borough Park wore a college fraternity sweatshirt with his nickname on it, law enforcement sources said. Aidan Folan, 21, was caught on camera wearing his favorite Alpha Phi Delta hoodie with custom lettering on the back that reads, "Stugotz 27," sources added. The Italian slang term roughly translates to "testicles" and is so loved by the suspect he chose it and the number "27" for his Facebook page, sources added. [NYP] $$$ Justin Bieber’s Pet Monkey Quarantined in Germany [Time]

Write-Offs: 2.16.16

Icahn dumps 7 million Apple shares; Mario Draghi says give it up for European banking system; Man arrested in Florida after taking backhoe for joyride; and more.

Write-Offs: 07.25.12

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

Write-Offs: 4.25.15

Brady Dougan says Credit Suisse got too big; Kleiner Perkins wants $1 million from Ellen Pao but is willing to deal; JPM closes pot accounts; Bra Bandit strikes again; and more.