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If SAC Capital Acts Now, It Can Settle Federal Charges For the Low, Low Introductory Price Of $1.8 Billion

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Please note, this deal is only good through November. SAC must call 555-8959 in the next 53 days with a valid credit card number to take advantage of this special offer. As an added bonus, if SAC acts fast, the Feds will throw in a U.S. Attorney's Office Limited Edition Fleece. Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

US prosecutors have given SAC Capital until November to resolve criminal charges against the hedge fund founded by Steven Cohen or risk paying more than the $1.8bn offer on the table, people familiar with the matter said. Lawyers for SAC Capital met with representatives from the US attorney’s office in Manhattan last month and argued the penalty being sought was too high. They are expected to return with a counter-offer, these people said.

The November deadline ties with the start of the criminal trial against Michael Steinberg, a long-time portfolio manager at SAC and personal friend of Mr Cohen. Mr Steinberg has pleaded not guilty to allegations that he traded shares of Dell and Nvidia after receiving confidential earnings information. His trial is scheduled for November 18. Authorities have told SAC lawyers that the price to resolve the criminal charges will increase after the trial, these people say. SAC or one of its units would be required to plead guilty as part of any deal, they say. Mr Cohen has not been charged personally with any criminal wrongdoing.

Prosecutors give SAC settlement ultimatum [FT]


Just Kidding About SAC Capital Settling With The SEC

A judge has pumped the brakes on this thing.