JPMorgan’s Dimon Posts First Loss on $7.2 Billion Legal Cost (Bloomberg)
The third-quarter loss was $380 million, or 17 cents a share, compared with a profit of $5.71 billion, or $1.40, a year earlier, the New York-based company said today in a statement. Shares of the company rose 2.6 percent at 7:50 a.m. after profit adjusted for one-time items beat analysts’ estimates. Dimon, 57, who led JPMorgan to record earnings in each of the past three years, is grappling with regulatory investigations and tightening internal controls following its more than $6.2 billion trading loss last year. The legal costs contributed to a 54 percent surge in non-interest expenses to $23.6 billion, as revenue dropped 8 percent from a year earlier. “In this highly charged and unpredictable environment, with escalating demands and penalties from multiple government agencies, we thought it was prudent to significantly strengthen” the bank’s legal reserves, Dimon said in the statement. “While we expect our litigation costs should abate and normalize over time, they may continue to be volatile over the next several quarters.”

Dimon Admits To 'Painful' Quarter (NYP)
“It’s painful for me personally,” Dimon said during a conference call with analysts. “I don’t like losing money for my shareholders.”

Wells Fargo profit rises but mortgage banking income falls (Reuters)
Net income applicable to common shareholders rose to $5.32 billion, or 99 cents per share, from $4.72 billion, or 88 cents per share, a year earlier. Analysts, on average, estimated Wells Fargo would earn 97 cents per share, according to Thomson Reuters I/B/E/S. The bank made $80 billion in home loans, down from $139 billion a year earlier. That marked the smallest amount of mortgages that Wells Fargo extended since the second quarter of 2011, when it made $64 billion. It also ended a streak of seven consecutive quarters making over $100 billion in home loans.

Draghi: ECB ready to act if market rates rise too high (Reuters)
"With regard to money market conditions, the ECB will remain particularly attentive to developments which may have implications for the stance of monetary policy and is ready to consider all available instruments," Draghi added in a statement dated Saturday, but made available on Friday.

Man who had sex with over 1,000 cars has now settled down with a Volkswagen Beetle (Mirror)
Over the last 45 years Edward Smith has bedded nearly 1,000 lovers, but only one has been a person - the rest have been cars. The 62-year-old from Yelm, Washington, United States is a mechaphile - meaning he is sexually attracted to machines. His unusual conquests have included roaring Mustangs, luxury Jaguars and even attack helicopters. He said: "Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars." Edward, who first became attracted to machines in his teens, went on to bonk hundreds of vehicles and at his peak was having sex with one a week. But his joyriding days are now over and he has committed himself to long-term lover, Vanilla, a second-hand Volkswagen Beetle he bought 30 years ago. It's is an open relationship and Edward also makes love to his 1973 Opal GT called Cinnamon and a 1193 Ford Ranger called Splash. But Vanilla is 'the one' and Edward likes to woo the white-coloured hatchback with picnics and wine-fuelled dates. He added: "When I hold Vanilla in my arms there's a powerful energy that comes from her. "I would say it is extremely satisfying but at times a little melancholy because I know she cannot talk to me. But overall I know she feels what I feel and its intense."

Blackberry Founders Consider Buying Back Company (NYP)
Mike Lazaridis and Douglas Fregin will have to battle both an existing $4.9 billion bid from Fairfax Financial and the fact that the now money-losing company is fast crumbling. One company they won’t have to fight is Google — which had been rumored to have some interest in BlackBerry but, The Post has learned, has shown minimal desire. Lazaridis and Fregin have a combined 10 percent-plus stake in the company. They have retained Goldman Sachs and Centerview Partners to pursue the deal.

Exclusive: U.S. CFTC finishing new, tougher commodity limits rule - sources (Reuters)
The U.S. derivatives market regulator is nearing completion of a new rule for position limits in commodity markets that is in parts tougher than the previous proposal, two sources with direct knowledge of the plan said.

U.S. Said to Open Criminal Probe of Currency Market Rigging (Bloomberg)
The U.S. Justice Department has opened a criminal investigation of possible manipulation of the $5.3 trillion-a-day foreign exchange market, a person familiar with the matter said. The Federal Bureau of Investigation, which is also looking into alleged rigging of interest rates associated with the London interbank offered rate, or Libor, is in the early stages of its currency market probe, said the person, who asked not to be identified because the inquiry is confidential.