Write-Offs: 10.07.13

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$$$DE Shaw shuts doors to new investors [FT]

$$$The largest banks on Wall Street are teaming up to join a network that could challenge an important part of Bloomberg’s terminal business. The banks have all signed up for a messaging service that will be introduced on Monday and will allow finance industry employees to find and chat with one another quickly...The new, more open and less expensive service, which will be operated by the industry-owned firm Markit, could loosen Bloomberg’s dominance on Wall Street. [NYT]

$$$White House Backs Temporary Debt-Ceiling Fix [WSJ]

$$$Mark Cuban tells insider trading trial share sale was long planned [Reuters]

$$$ ...most people would rather have a caffeine fix when they first wake up than sex, a new survey has found. The study by Le Méridien hotel group discovered that 53 per cent of its guests favored coffee over sex as the perfect way to start the day. The research showed worldwide addiction to coffee was so great 78 per cent of respondents would abstain from alcohol, social media or sex with their partner for a year rather than miss out on coffee for the same amount of time. [NYP]

$$$Julian Robertson sells Apple because Steve Jobs was 'mean' [CNBC]

$$$Midnight Madness Scene: Goldman Fights Morgan for Charity [Bloomberg]

$$$Following Eli Manning and Co.’s fifth straight loss to open the season, Rick’s Cabaret, a Midtown Manhattan strip club, has decided it will not show Giants games on its TVs for the rest of the season. Less than two years removed from a Super Bowl title, the Giants are one of four teams without a win yet this season (Steelers, Jaguars, Buccaneers). “After five straight losses, the crowd turned and started booing the TVs. The girls had to work extra hard. We are the first club to ban the Giants,” club spokesperson Lonnie Hanover said...Rick’s Cabaret Girl Alexandra discussed the Giants/Eagles game. “There’s like a hundred sexy topless girls here and everyone was exceedingly happy until it became clear during the second half that Eli Manning and the Giants were going to lose again.” Rick’s Cabaret Girl Yvonne said, “I’ve been showing off my new 34Ds and getting compliments all the time, except right after Giants games–the guys are sort of deflated–they take that football stuff too seriously!” [NYP]

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Write-Offs: 12.07.12

$$$ Goldman Fined for Failing to Block Trader’s $8.3 Billion Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Key SEC Holdout in Money-Fund Overhaul Reverses Stance [WSJ] $$$ Canada Approves Cnooc-Nexen Deal [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan nears £500m bonus tax deal [FT] $$$ Rant: At Top Law Firms, a Class Conflict During Bonus Season [BBW / Elie Mystal] $$$ Lloyd bought a house [DealBook] $$$ The 200 West Street Goldman cafeteria (1) is really very good, (2) features food from a former banker [DealBook] $$$ 100 Women in Hedge Funds names Ivanka Trump to its board, consists of 10,000 women, mostly not in hedge funds [AR] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit officer for securities backed lending in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ Morgan Stanley's 2013 adviser pay to reward new loans [Reuters] $$$ Brokers Must Disclose Bonuses to Clients in Finra Proposal [Bloomberg] $$$ "It’s always a mistake to use microeconomic intuition in macro," quantitative easing edition [Scott Sumner] $$$ Whale’s Trade in Comeback as Junk Fervor Fades [Bloomberg] $$$ "If Harvard wishes to retain its primary existence as a gigantic profit-maximizing hedge fund ..." [American Conservative via John Carney] $$$ Ivy League Cracks Down as Students Spiral Out of Control [Bloomberg] $$$ "I am tired of fooling around, he said. I’m forming a legal team. We have case studies, an office outside Lexington. He swept the strips off the table and held the beak in the air. We’re looking for a poet to write our anthem!" [The Awl]