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Write-Offs: 10.09.13

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$$$Most Fed Officials Saw QE Tapering This Year, Minutes Show [Bloomberg]

$$$J.P. Morgan Kicks Off Sale of Commodities Business [WSJ]

$$$Hedge fund Barington Capital Group LP, along with other investors, has taken a 2.8% stake in Darden, the owner of Olive Garden, Red Lobster and six other restaurant chains. The fund is pushing for Darden to form two separate companies, among other changes, according to people familiar with the matter. [WSJ]

$$$SEC on the prowl for rule breakers big and small, White says [Reuters]

$$$ A Gold Coast woman who was inspired by Oscar-winning film Braveheart when she drunkenly chased her neighbours with a sword, has faced court -- and been given back her freedom. Simone Nicole Bruce, 44, had been drinking wine and watching the Mel Gibson blockbuster at her Chevron Island home on May 28 when she decided to pull out a sword and practice her fighting skills in the street. [GC]

$$$Wall Street preparing for debt doomsday [NYP]

$$$The New Science of Who Sits Where at Work [WSJ]

$$$Neiman Marcus’s Fantasy Holiday Catalog Is as Batshit as Ever [Fashionista]

$$$ Dorsey was never a conventional CEO: He began as a nose-ring-wearing hacker and had to be taught the finer points of corporate management as Twitter grew. But at one point, his quirks (he "habitually left around 6 p.m. for drawing classes, hot yoga sessions and a course at a local fashion school," where he "wanted to learn to make an A-line skirt and, eventually, jeans," according to Bilton) were too much for co-founder Ev Williams to take. “You can either be a dressmaker or the C.E.O. of Twitter,” Williams reportedly told Dorsey. “But you can’t be both.” [Daily Intel]

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$$$ Goldman will console itself for its lost $20mm El Paso merger fee with its $220mm profit on the other side of the deal [Dealpolitik] $$$ "What's more, they tend to finance long-term mortgage securities with short-term repo. Typically they borrow from banks for 60-90 days and just roll their loans. Banks don't have to use much capital for securitized short-term loans, so they generally extend credit lines to REITs with no trouble." That sounds great [Sober Look] $$$ Jamie Dimon said some Dimony things today [DealBook] $$$ Mark Zuckerberg wrote the founder's letter in the Facebook S-1 on his phone [SAI] $$$ Kevin Roose went to TechCrunchDisrupt conference, disrupted it [DI, also, also] $$$ Brown Brothers Harriman is looking for a banking analyst in Philadelphia [DBCC] $$$ Moody's Cautions of Possible U.S. Downgrade in 2013 [WSJ] $$$ Integrating Banks Spurs Last-Minute Fears in Europe [NYT] $$$ "A South Carolina woman said she was shocked to discover her ex-boyfriend from 12 years ago has been living in her attic." [UPI] $$$ There may be a jaguar on the prowl in East Hampton [EH Patch via DI]

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$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

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