Pimco sees less than 50% chance of rate hike this week; Credit Suisse dark pool settlement; "Bride Nearly Run Over by Drunk Wedding Guest"; and more.

$$$ Doubts Rise Over EU Bank Metrics [WSJ] $$$ Race to save euro will follow ‘Grexit’ [FT / Willem Buiter] $$$ Falcone’s Harbinger Capital Turns To Dell’s MSD For Loan [Bloomberg] $$$ Oracle CEO Larry Ellison buys Hawaii island known for pineapples, Bill Gates' wedding [CNN] $$$ "As my closest family and friends, it is important to me set the record straight on some of book’s major inaccuracies." Kerry Killinger appears to be illiterate. [DealBook] $$$ British school calls police to remove pupil 'obsessed' with studying [NYP via DI] $$$ The Decathlon is now open to teams of 3, competing for the title of "Wall Street's Fittest Firm" - sign up today [The Decathlon] $$$ A New Jersey asset management firm is looking for a COO, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Red flag at popular Alerian MLP Index ETN [Investment News] $$$ Constellation Brands executives get paid partly in free booze [Footnoted.com] $$$ Does The CFA Exam Waste A Billion Dollars? [BDC Review] $$$ The Terrifying Sex Organs of Male Turtles [io9]

S&P cuts big banks; Hedge fund redemptions coming; "New York politician offers $1,000 to find subway-halting cat"; and more.

Stock Exchange theme bar with fluctuating drinks prices opening in London; Lynn Tilton's new defense; Wall Street's summer reading lists; "Arizona Cops Hunting For Man Who Urinated Through Mail Slot At Upscale Furniture Store"; and more.

Dalio v. Ackman; Greece; Greenlight; Bra Bandit; DSK; "School Bus Driver Fired For Beer-Drinking Selfie"; AND MORE.