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Lisa Maria Falcone's 2013 Is Looking Up!

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Securities ban, shmeshurities ban-- the driving while impaired charges have been dropped!

The Suffolk County D.A.’s office this week said it will not proceed with its case against Lisa, who was arrested for driving while impaired and without a license following a Labor Day crash last year. Lisa was cleared of DWAI (driving while ability impaired) after toxicology tests showed she hadn’t been drinking and had only a trace amount of prescription meds in her blood...Lisa had left the Hampton Classic horse show in her Mercedes SUV when she rear-ended another Mercedes before smashing into a parked Verizon van. Minutes later, her husband arrived and shouted at cops not to tow her car and bellowed that she should not take a Breathalyzer test. She blew a .06, under the legal limit of .08. She admitted popping a neurontin for pain. We’re told she paid a desk ticket for the expired license. Our source said, “Lisa spent six hours in a cell, even though she passed the Breathalyzer test. Phil making a huge scene really didn’t help matters.”

[NYP, earlier]


Lisa Maria Falcone Had A Less Than Great Labor Day Weekend

It's no secret that one of our favorite hedge fund wives is Lisa Maria Falcone. Whether she's imploring bitches to throw their hands in air, hiring little people for her twin daughters' birthday party, spooning her pet pig, or simply flitting about town in outfits that go from gladiator chic to deconstructed "Like A Virgin," the woman is her own special brand of fabulous. LMF started keeping a considerably lower profile once her husband Phil's hedge fund hit a streak of bad luck though we always knew she'd be back. Unfortunately, we'd hoped the woman who does what she wants, haters of the Upper East Side be damned, would return with the news her production company was putting the finishing touches on Wilbur Falcone's debut album and not this: 2:25 p.m., 48-year-old Lisa Marie Falcone of Manhattan crashed her vehicle at the corner of Montauk Highway and Hayground Road in Bridgehampton, police said. She was found to be to be under the influence of alcohol and prescription medication, police said. Falcone...was charged with driving while intoxicated. Listen, lady: Throwing back a few cocktails when your closet is having two-for-one happy hour is one thing but getting loaded up on booze and pills and going for a drive is quite another. You could have hurt someone or yourself and then Phil would've had to raise Wilbur on his own. Is that what you want? 2 Charged With DWI Crashes in Hamptons [Long Island Press, mugshot via BI]


Famously Friendly Neighbor Lisa Maria Falcone Now Literally Sh!tting On The Hamptons

And just when we were about to give up The Hamptons being fun this summer.