Dimon Says Keep Higher Standards in Warning to Staff on E-Mails (Bloomberg)
“Don’t exaggerate, don’t ruminate, don’t bullshit,” Dimon, 57, told employees at a town hall meeting at the bank’s office in London’s Canary Wharf last week, according to an attendee who asked not to be identified because they weren’t authorized to speak publicly. “I’m serious,” said Dimon. Regulators have swooped on electronic communications among traders in the industry, using them as evidence of wrongdoing in their investigations into the manipulation of benchmark interest rates and the foreign exchange markets. Five firms have been fined a total of $3.7 billion over Libor-manipulation so far.
“We all need to keep a higher standard,” Dimon said at the Oct. 28 meeting.
SAC Capital settlement clears U.S. court hurdle (Reuters)
A federal judge said he will approve part of a $1.2 billion settlement with Steven A. Cohen's SAC Capital Advisors on Wednesday, putting the U.S. government a step closer to finalizing the insider trading agreement. At a hearing in Manhattan on Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Richard Sullivan said he would sign off on a $900 million judgment in a civil forfeiture action filed earlier this year against SAC Capital. An order by Sullivan a day earlier raised questions about whether he would approve the judgment, after the judge cited recent judicial "debate" about how courts are to review regulatory settlements. But Sullivan on Wednesday questioned whether he was even needed for the process. To the extent his signature was required, the judge said he thought it was clear the ability of the court to scrutinize the civil end of the settlement was "minimal." "I think the inquiry here is a limited one," Sullivan said. Under the judgment that Sullivan said he would sign, SAC Capital would get credit for $616 million it already agreed to pay to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to resolve related insider trading charges. A separate part of the deal announced on Monday calls for $900 million in criminal penalties and would have to be approved by U.S. District Judge Laura Taylor Swain.
Sony drags down Loeb’s October returns (NYP)
Hedgie Dan Loeb’s long winning streak continued in October — although a 20 percent drop in his high-profile activist target Sony nearly wiped out his overall gain. Loeb’s Third Point hedge fund ended the month with a 1.2 percent gain, lagging the S&P 500’s 4.6 percent return. He is still up 19.4 percent for the year, according to a report to investors, a copy of which was reviewed by The Post.
Middle school coach fired for planning awards ceremony for teens at Hooters (NYDN)
An Oregon school football coach has been fired for planning an end-of-season bash for his young teen players at Hooters. Randy Burbach, who coached 12- to 14-year-olds at Corbett Middle School, thought the "breastaurant" would be the perfect place to celebrate. He booked out the Jantzen Beach branch — where scantily clad waitresses would serve players food and drink — for the glittering awards ceremony.
But when details of the event became known, he faced the wrath of parents who demanded he change the location. When he refused — insisting the eatery is "not a strip club" — he was fired. The school district's athletic director JP Soulagnet wrote to parents on Monday. Slamming Burbach's poor judgment, he claimed he asked him to move the dinner "so families could attend and feel comfortable." Burbach, however, defended his decision by telling KGW News that Hooters is "perfectly appropriate" for families.
He now plans to press ahead with the event, without the district's backing, saying restaurant bosses are even footing the bill. "I believe this is a fine venue," he told Oregonlive.com. "It's not a strip club. If you have a dirty mind, you'll find dirt."
SAC Got Nailed, But Probe Of Cohen Continues (NYP)
Even after winning guilty pleas and recordetting penalties from SAC on Monday, Bharara appears to still have his eyes on one prize: Cohen. “There is no immunity for criminal prosecution for any person,” Bharara said Monday in announcing the settlement. Stern and determined as he faced the media, Bharara reminded the group: “We are not shy and retiring people. We are not unaggressive. The investigation is ongoing.”
E-Cigs Wafting Into Workplace 25 Years After Smoking Ban (Bloomberg)
When John Castellano feels like a smoke, he simply heads to the break room at Kraft Foods Group Inc. (KRFT)’s Garland, Texas, factory. The 39-year-old technician has been able to indulge his habit in common areas at work since he started using electronic cigarettes, which emit vapor rather than smoke. E-cigs are “very liberating,” said Castellano, who used to join the other nicotine addicts at the factory’s designated smoking area.
Chesapeake Energy posts profit (Reuters)
Higher-than-expected oil production in the third quarter helped Chesapeake's results meet analysts' expectations, but weather disruptions and asset sales will cut output in the fourth quarter by about 9,000 barrels per day, Chesapeake said on a conference call with investors. Analysts pointed to the lower oil forecast as a reason for weakness in the stock, which had traded as much as 3 percent higher before the market opened. Under new Chief Executive Officer Doug Lawler, Chesapeake has slashed 10 percent of its workforce and is spending less on exploration and production. The company also expects to sell more than $4 billion in assets this year to raise cash.
Man shocks wife with a Taser after winning Monday Night Football bet (NYDN)
A Wisconsin woman was so sure her team would win its Monday Night Football game she was stunned at the game's conclusion. Police in Mayville, Wis., arrested a 42-year-old man on weapons charges for using a stun gun on his wife following the Monday Night Football game last night between the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears, according to a complaint posted by The Smoking Gun. But police determined the incident was "most likely" consensual and the result of a bet between the couple. John Grant told police that his wife Nicole, a Packers fan, told her husband, a Bears fan, if the Packers lost she could be tased, the complaint stated. The Bears won the game 27-20. But Nicole called police around 12:39 a.m. outside a bowling alley to report her husband had tased her with a stun gun, thrown her dog out of his truck and would not let her inside the vehicle where the couple is currently living, the complaint stated. Nicole told police that her husband has tased her twice with a stun gun and an unidentified person also tased her at a local sports bar where they watched the game. Nicole added that it caused burn marks to her buttocks and that "hell yeah it hurt" in response to police inquiries, the complaint stated. She did decline medical treatment. John Grant took a cell phone video of the incident, which he showed police. In the video police said Nicole stood still with her arms up and appears to be laughing as it happened. They also recovered a text message from Nicole to her husband that said if the Packers lost he could tase her for three seconds. But Nicole told police she never thought he would actually tase her. Police determined that Nicole "most likely" consented to the tasing and police did not file domestic battery charges against John Grant. Police did arrest him for possession of an electric weapon — a charge that carries a maximum jail sentence of six years and a $10,000 fine. Police noted both John and Nicole were both above the legal drinking limit.