Actually, regret, singular. And it's not that he ruined countless people's lives, or that he's going to die in prison, or even that no one cares about the so-called "Legitimate Years." It's that he didn't have a right mind to march into the offices of the Wall Street Journal, scream "You call this a stipple portrait?" and demand a retraction.
In 1992, when the Wall Street Journal ran an article about Bernie Madoff and another firm being investigated by the feds, his greatest worry wasn't the recent probe. It was that his stipple portrait in the newspaper made his cheeks look chubby, a witness said Wednesday in the fraud trial of five former Madoff employees. "There was a caricature picture of Bernie, like a cartoon picture of Bernie, in the article," testified Frank Dipascali, who worked with Madoff for decades. "His biggest concern was that the caricature didn't look like him. 'It makes my cheeks look too big,' he said. He didn't like the way he looked."