Not even if it it came with a personal manservant named Sandy Weill. Not even if Tom Brady called him to say it was okay to buy it.
Mr. Dimon said Wednesday that J.P. Morgan paid a "premium to settle" but "we have to get some of these things behind us." Some shareholders urged him to fight but Mr. Dimon said that would mean years in court and more media attention. "I don't want to threaten the health of my company ever." Mr. Dimon also acknowledged that the bank's relationship with regulators "obviously got worse" and "we lost track of that somehow over the last several years." The "biggest mistake we made" was pushing responsibility for that relationship "too far down in the organization."
Mr. Dimon again expressed regrets about the crisis-era purchases of Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual, both of which were encouraged by regulators. The deals brought benefits to J.P. Morgan, he said, but "Bear Stearns would not happen today" even if J.P. Morgan could purchase it for zero. "You wouldn't take this kind of unlimited risk."