Write-Offs: 12.13.13

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$$$Exclusive: Ex-UBS banker flown to U.S. to face tax fraud trial [Reuters]

$$$Economists Split on Start of Fed Pullback [WSJ]

$$$U.S. Supreme Court agrees to weigh bank fraud case [Reuters]

$$$Dead or alive? The puzzle of Schrödinger’s markets [FT]

$$$Dennis Rodman still planning to visit North Korea—despite execution of Kim Jong Un’s uncle [NYDN]

$$$Qualcomm Names Mollenkopf as CEO [WSJ]

$$$Secrets of the secretaries from investment banks [eFinancial]

$$$Quite simply, SantaCon is a parasite. [NYT]

$$$After being chased down by police, a drunken Florida motorist who was driving in excess of 100 miles per hour apologized and explained to officers, “I was just showing my cousin how fast my Jaguar could go.” [TSG]

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$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

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$$$ Buffett: My Succession Plans Have Not Changed [CNBC] $$$ Meredith Whitney upgraded Citigroup [MarketBeat] $$$ Should you worry that all the big banks are growing their assets? [DealBook] $$$ Canadian approached for top BoE job [FT] $$$ Sallie Krawchek: "I've thought a lot about the issue of stereotypes, particularly on Wall Street. I can't count the number of times I have seen men slam something on a table, even throw something. You sort of do a mental eye roll and move on. I can count on one hand — on one finger — the number of tantrums I've seen a woman have. As she was having it, I remember thinking to myself, Bitch." [Marie Claire] $$$ The Ira Sohn Investment Idea Contest seeks to identify a great investment idea to help benefit children with cancer. This year's contest will be judged by an incredible group including Michael Price, Bill Ackman, David Einhorn, Joel Greenblatt and Seth Klarman. The winner will be selected based on the judges’ determination of the most compelling investment idea submitted with a one-year horizon, and will then get to present their investment idea at the Ira Soch Investment Conference itself in May. $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a market risk regulatory capital vice president [DBCC] $$$ London Goes After Trading in Yuan [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America Said to Put Foreign Wealth Management Unit Up for Sale [DealBook] $$$ Derivatives Lobby Has U.S. Regulators on the Run [Bloomberg / Roger Lowenstein] $$$ "We are in a depression, but not because we don’t know how to remedy the problem. We are in a depression because it is our revealed preference, as a polity, not to remedy the problem. We are choosing continued depression because we prefer it to the alternatives." [Interfluidity] $$$ "A Michigan lottery winner was charged with fraud Tuesday for collecting food stamps and public health insurance despite pocketing a $735,000 jackpot."