Write-Offs: 12.19.13

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$$$Telecom Deal Mania Yields Profits for Paulson [The Information / Katie Benner]

$$$BlackRock Said to Seek $3 Billion for New Credit Hedge Fund [Bloomberg]

$$$SEC Charges Former Microsoft Manager, Friend With Insider Trading [WSJ]

$$$Bitcoin, Nationless Currency, Still Feels Governments’ Pinch [Dealbook]

$$$ In a message that was allegedly left on Harry’s phone, William, the future King of England assumed a falsetto voice and pretended to be his brother’s girlfriend Chelsy Davy. “I really miss you,” he joked. “Hopefully I'll see you very soon you big hairy fat ginger.” [TDB]

$$$European Banker of Year Shows Why She’s Lonely at Top [Bloomberg]

$$$Citigroup Said to Sign Lease to Stay in Lower Manhattan [WSJ]

$$$The state Department of Management Services on Wednesday denied an attempt by "Satanists" to put up a display in the Florida Capitol, which currently showcases a Nativity scene, a Festivus pole made of beer cans, posters from atheists, and a crudely made Flying Spaghetti Monster. "The department's position is that your proposed display is grossly offensive during the holiday season," DMS Administrative Assistant Sherrie K. Routt emailed a group calling itself the Satanic Temple. [OS]

$$$Mitt Romney Ironing a Tuxedo While Wearing It [Daily Intel]

Related

Write-Offs: 07.20.12

$$$ Spain's Recession to Linger as Austerity Bites [WSJ] $$$ Euro Bailout Bid Gets Vote Of No-Confidence [Bloomberg] $$$ As the Justice Department weighs the possibility of criminal charges in the unfolding Libor rate-setting scandal, it may want to consider the record of the Swiss banking giant UBS. At UBS, a series of immunity, nonprosecution and deferred prosecution agreements in recent years — evidently the government’s preferred approach to corporate crime — seems to have had scant, if any, deterrent effect. “It’s depressing,” Representative Peter Welch, Democrat of Vermont, a member of the House oversight committee, told me this week after we discussed UBS’s recent transgressions. “The Justice Department has to decide: Is the day of consent decrees and settlements, where you pay a fine, one passed on to shareholders, are those days over? Are the days of jail time here?” [NYT] $$$ Jamie Dimon Opens Wallet For JPMorgan Shares, Picks Up 500000‎ [Forbes] $$$ Someone stole hundreds of David Hasseloff life-sized cutouts [NYDN] $$$ Credit Suisse chair says board backs Dougan [Reuters] $$$ Ex-BofA Executive Indicted For Fraud In Municipal Bond Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ BMW ‘stolen’ from Hooters is found [WaPo]

Write-Offs: 10.05.12

$$$ Lehman Units Settle $38 Billion in Claims [WSJ] $$$ When will PE firms exit from all their "golden age" buyouts? [Fortune] $$$ Hedge funds love affair with leverage still on hiatus, for now [Reuters] $$$ Russian cyber gang said to be organizing a ‘mega heist’ of US banks [Qz] $$$ GE Capital Said to Near Systemic-Risk Label in Review [Bloomberg, related?] $$$ World’s Least Fun Person Removing One-of-a-Kind Slide From Apartment He Just Bought [DI] $$$ A New York multi-strat hedge fund is looking for a junior collateral manager [DBCC] $$$ Moody’s warns on Portugal’s bailout plan [FT] $$$ On jobs report, "what we might be seeing is an evolution of seasonal patterns — people starting school and leaving their summer gigs earlier in the summer — which has big implications for how the Labor Department digests and reports the monthly jobs data." [Economix] $$$ After JPMorgan, Hannam Said to Focus on Afghan Gold Mine [Bloomberg] $$$ 'Price is Right' finds first male model in show history [NYP] $$$ Is Quebec's Stolen Maple Syrup Stashed in Stomachs? [Bloomberg]

Write-Offs: 03.22.13

$$$ Inside a Star Hedge Fund: Lots of Big Bets, Built Fast [WSJ] $$$ Fed pushes banks to ignore rivals when setting bonuses [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan Board Backs CEO Dimon as Chairman, Pays Zames More [Bloomberg] $$$ The Senate Drafts the SEC's Case Against JPMorgan [BBW] $$$ "A J.P. Morgan Chase employee climbed onstage at a black-tie dinner held on Wall Street Thursday night and accepted an award on behalf of the embattled bank for 'best crisis management.' ... Kathy Hu, an executive director in J.P. Morgan’s investor relations department, accepted the award and quipped: 'Can I just say, "Crisis? What crisis?"' J.P. Morgan beat out nominees Chevron Corp., which struggled with a refinery fire last year, and St. Jude Medical Inc., which battled heart-device problems." [Deal Journal] $$$ Pope calls Argentine kiosk owner to cancel paper delivery [CNA] $$$ Hey, Let Harvard Alumni Have Their Fun This Morning [DI] $$$ Deutsche Bank mulls raising fixed pay to counter EU bonus rules [Reuters] $$$ Judges’ Spat Strikes a Chord Among Deal Makers [DealBook] $$$ "Now some distressed debt investors get to find out what exactly it is you buy when you buy American-issued debt in a company incorporated in the Cayman Islands and doing business in China. I suspect the answer will be 'not much.'" [DealBook] $$$ "Henry Blodget is, in all seriousness, an artist of the internet whose methods should be studied and analyzed for future generations." [Gawker] $$$ "Finally I should note that the rectal gonorrhoea is the reason for my odour." Investment research! [Bronte Capital]

Write-Offs: 01.09.13

$$$ S.E.C. Enforcement Chief Khuzami Steps Down [DealBook] $$$ Dimon Says JPMorgan Executives ‘Acted Like Children’ on Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ S.E.C. Opens Investigation Into Herbalife [DealBook] $$$ Here you can watch an inspirational video about Herbalife called "Our Herbalife" [YouTube] $$$ "It doesn't travel as a coin. It stays in a container. And the container itself is small enough to carry, but certainly not small enough to put in your pocket. That's kind of how we protect it. So once you put it in the container, it kind of moves in the container. And probably we'd keep it in a container even at Fort Knox. I remember when I was in the military, the keys in the orderly room were on a long stick, like a broomstick. And I said to the sergeant, how come you do that, and he said, "So nobody can put it in their pocket." That's kind of how you do security [for a trillion-dollar coin] also." [DI] $$$ RBC is looking for an analyst for its Derivatives Solutions Group in New York [DBCC] $$$ Soros Hong Kong portfolio manager Jixin Dai departs, plots standalone fund [AR] $$$ SEC Claims KPMG Auditors Failed to Scrutinize Nebraska Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ "For people like me, on the other hand, the economy is a social system, created by and for people. Money is a social contrivance and convenience that makes this social system work better — and should be adjusted, both in quantity and in characteristics, whenever there is compelling evidence that this would lead to better outcomes." [Paul Krugman] $$$ Apparently people read Business Insider in bed [BI]