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Write-Offs: 01.17.14

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$$$Deutsche Bank Drops After Report That Firm Weighs Profit Warning [Bloomberg]

$$$ Dr. Sidney Gilman, the key witness for prosecutors in the insider trading trial of Mathew Martoma, a former portfolio manager at SAC Capital Advisors, told the jury on Friday that he retired from a teaching position at the University of Michigan rather than be fired after it emerged that he passed on confidential information to Mr. Martoma. “I retired rather than being fired,” said Dr. Gilman, 81, who took the stand on the fifth day of the trial. Explaining why he retired in November 2012, Dr. Gilman said, “I revealed information that was confidential about a clinical drug trial to Mathew Martoma, inappropriately.” [Dealbook]

$$$HSBC Suspends Two Currency Traders Amid Global Forex Probe [WSJ]

$$$ATMs Face Deadline to Upgrade From Windows XP [BusinessWeek]

$$$The price of bacon rose 9.6 percent last year [NPR]

$$$Insider Trading Law Can't Handle Nest and Nestor [BloombergView/Matt]

$$$Falcone Grilled By Ergen Lawyers [NYP]

$$$Watch Shia LaBeouf Headbutt Some Guy During a Bar Fight Last Night [Gawker]

$$$That's it for us today! Enjoy the long weekend and we'll see you back here on Tuesday!

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$$$ Fed Is 'Playing a Game With Us:' Pimco's Gross [CNBC] $$$ Bundesbank steps up pressure on Draghi [FT] $$$ Broker departures accelerate at Merrill Lynch [Reuters] $$$ The head of credit trading at Credit Suisse has been fined £210,000 for disclosing confidential information about a forthcoming €2.5bn bond issue after inviting a UK fund manager to “play charades” and guess the identity of the issuer. Nicholas Kyprios encouraged a fund manager who had been invited by Credit Suisse to a roadshow in November 2009 for an unnamed company to guess the issuer, using phrases like “you’re getting warmer”, the Financial Services Authority said. [FT] $$$ How would you like to be a Fixed Income Business Management Analyst for BlackRock in New York? [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Hires a New P.R. Chief $$$ Euro Zone Split over Financial Transaction Tax [Der Spiegel] $$$ Fred Wilpon's lawyers have planned a whole range of distractions for their Madoff trial [WSJ, related] $$$ Robert Lacoursiere, the Paulson & Co. partner who oversaw the $23 billion hedge fund’s team of banking analysts, quit last week after four years to start his own fund, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. [Bloomberg] $$$ Manhattan madam's 'sidekick' turns herself in, released on $100K bail [NYP]

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$$$ RBS speeds up investment arm split [Telegraph] $$$ How much value does the finance industry create? [Noahpinion] $$$ Leverage can increase volatility and diversification can reduce risk [WSJ] $$$ Why London hedge fund wives don’t do Switzerland [EFC] $$$ Cheese fire causes traffic meltdown in Norway tunnel [Reuters] $$$ Registration for the 5th annual Decathlon starts today! This year’s competition takes place on July 28th, and also includes monthly “Throw Downs” where all registered Decathletes compete in 1-2 Decathlon events and collect charity bets on head-to-head match-ups (40 yard dash! Pull-ups! Bench press!). All proceeds benefit the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. $$$ A hedge fund in New York is looking for a quantitative macro strategist/economist [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Lifts Quarterly Dividend 14% [FBN] $$$ Deutsche Bank Said to Be Asked by Bafin to Simulate Split [Bloomberg] $$$ Schroders Worker Among FSA Insider-Trading Probe Arrests [Bloomberg] $$$ Is seducing executives in order to get and trade on inside information illegal? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ ‘Your Cat Is Not Innocent’: New Zealand Man Launches Campaign to Rid Country of Cats [Gawker]