Hank Paulson tells China to be very afraid; Banks' first quarter trading revenue = cautious optimism; Slovakia telecom IPO comin' at ya; "Man rides 11 miles on hood of SUV in Pennsylvania"; and more.

$$$ Spain's Ability to Fund Itself to Be Put to Test Thursday [CNBC] $$$ European Rescue Fund May Face Biggest Test Yet [NYT] $$$ Chesapeake CEO took $1.1 billion in shrouded personal loans [Reuters] $$$ Squam Lake Group: SEC Beware, Money Funds Can Bring System Down [Bloomberg] $$$ A Merrill Lynch trainee was busted for faking a Series 7 score [Forbes] $$$ Dartmouth Student Plans to Sell "Hazing Simulation" for $10 [IvyGate] $$$ Illumina Fends Off Roche’s Hostile Bid [DealBook] $$$ BlackRock Aims to Soothe Concerns on New Trading Platform [MarketBeat] $$$ On the other hand, BlackRock to Shift Business if Moody’s Downgrades Banks [DealBook] $$$ Currency Probes Nip Banks' Profits [WSJ] $$$ This is your chance to audition for commenter roles at a leading Internet concern; openings include "Disbarred lawyer. Provides long and just-slightly incorrect and hasty review of all blog posts regarding the law." [The Awl]