Write-Offs: 03.13.14

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$$$EBay CEO sees Icahn getting louder, tells employees not to listen [Reuters]

$$$New York Times Columnist Andrew Ross Sorkin Just Got a Pilot Green-lit by Showtime [Vulture]

$$$ Bernard Madoff’s five former aides on trial for fraud were like children who discovered Santa Claus was a sham and played along to get more gifts, a prosecutor told jurors who will begin deliberating as soon as tomorrow. The defendants, accused of aiding Madoff’s $17.5 billion Ponzi scheme for decades, kept up the “Bernie Claus” act long after realizing the trading in his investment advisory business was fake, Assistant U.S. Attorney Randall Jackson said today in federal court in Manhattan. They did so for money, he said. “Children always figure it out” after they start asking how Santa could “visit billions of houses in one night” and make so many toys in one year, Jackson said. “Let’s talk about the absurdity of the fundamental premise” that the defendants “engaged in all these activities” and didn’t figure it out. [Bloomberg]

$$$Zuckerberg Phones Obama: Keep the Internet Secure [Digits]

$$$ECB's Draghi: Strong Euro Pulling Down Euro Zone Inflation [WSJ]

$$$ A groom on his honeymoon got into a drunken argument with his bride aboard a flight form Atlanta to Costa Rica, forcing the Delta Air Lines aircraft to make an emergency landing on Grand Cayman island on Sunday night, authorities said. The U.S. citizen was escorted from the flight after it landed by Cayman Islands police and was being held in custody on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct, according to Royal Cayman Islands Chief Inspector Raymond Christian. The bride remained aboard for the flight to San Jose, Costa Rica, he said. [Reuters]

$$$China Shows Fresh Signs of Economic Weakness [WSJ]

$$$Regulation: The one thing that might save bitcoin [NetNet]

$$$Meet Gary Melius, the Long Island Power Broker Almost Assassinated at His Great Gatsby Castle [DI]

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Write-Offs: 08.29.12

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Write-Offs: 05.31.12

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]