$$$Morgan Stanley's Profit Rises, as Results Beat Estimates [WSJ]

$$$Hedge funds get clobbered by fall in tech stocks [NetNet]

$$$How Can Yahoo Be Worth Less Than Zero? [BloombergView/Matt]

$$$A Fun Night Out for Under $200,000 [Bloomberg]

$$$ The more men who grow beards, the less attractive facial hair becomes to women, according to academic research. Are we at saturation point? [Telegraph]

$$$Enjoy Good Friday if that's your thing or the holiday known as the 3-Day Weekend if it's not! We'll see you back here on Monday.

$$$SEC Advances Final Set of Swaps Rules [WSJ]

$$$Ex-BP employee settles SEC insider-trading oil spill case [Reuters]

$$$Despite ridicule from Yelp reviewers, Ballston cafe keeps phallic sign [WTOP]