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Write-Offs: 06.11.12

$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

Write-Offs: 6.6.16

Deutsche Bank discards plans for U.S. digital bank; HSBC restructures investment banking arm; Couple stages engagement photos to look like a murder scene; and more.

Write-Offs: 4.15.15

Greece not feeling good about next week; The Trader In The Wild; Virtu IPO; "San Diego surgeons treat man's 'Candy Crush thumb'"; and more.

Write-Offs: 4.22.15

$2.15 billion fine for Deutsche; RBC is starting an investment bank in Paris; Dalio, Bernanke and Summers walk into a bar...; "Another woman yelled out her window, ‘Shut your f--ing windows you wh*re!’” the complainant added; and more.

Write-Offs: 4.28.15

Twitter earnings; Greece, Standard Chartered seen better days; Convicted insider trader sentenced to jail sentenced to more jail; "Naked Idiot On The Field Absolutely Flattened By Rugby Player"; and more.