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Clear Steve Cohen's Schedule

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Back in April 2013, Steve Cohen put his 9,000-square-foot One Beacon Court apartment on the market for $115 million, which would have represented a modest 379.16% return. In January, he dropped the price to 98 mill. Four months later, a buyer has yet to materialize and the Big Guy is pissed. Embalm someone and suspend them in formaldehyde pissed.

Sources tell Page Six that Cohen is furious that his luxe four-bedroom duplex at 151 E. 58th St. hasn’t had a buyer after more than a year on the market, and he’s blaming his brokers.

Obviously, this is a case of if you want something done right, do it yourself. If Cohen has his head on straight he'll hoof it on down to midtown, roll up his sleeves, and do what his broker could not. Left alone with no distractions, he can have the place ready for an open house Wednesday. If he makes sure to emphasize the open concept living area and his and her sinks in the en-suite, he'll be in good shape. If he throws in the life size bobblehead, this thing'll be wrapped up in a week.

Cohen freaking out over unsold $98M penthouse [NYP]

Earlier: Steve Cohen Wants To See A 379.16% Return On Manhattan Penthouse; Steve Cohen Will Settle For A 308% Return On Manhattan Penthouse


Steve Cohen's Apartment Basically Affordable Housing At This Point

And yet no one will make him an offer, despite slashing $36 million off the original asking price. $36 million, people! Who does he have to screw around here to at least get a dialogue going?

Steve Cohen Cuts The Price Of His Midtown Apartment To "F*ck You, Now You Can't Have It" Dollars

He's not going to be reduced to begging (any more than he already has).