Monument To Hedge Fund Manager's Love Of Chickens Nearly Complete

Author:
Updated:
Original:

Odey has upped the ante for poultry accommodation – he’s building a temple for his chickens for which the stone alone costs £130,000...The temple’s roof – adorned with an Anthemia statuette – will be fashioned in grey zinc; the pediments, cornice, architrave and frieze are in English oak; and the columns, pilasters and rusticated stone plinth are being hewn from finest grey Forest of Dean sandstone. Naturally, the doors will be painted in the Odey Asset Management founder’s favourite Hague Blue – “to match the doors around Eastbach Court”, according to the plans…“The temple will be a lovely place when it is finished at the end of the year,” Odey said from a grouse moor. “The chickens will be grand.” -- Telegraph, September 25, 2012

Early on in hedge fund manager Crispin Odey's relationship with his chickens, he made them a promise, about the things he'd do to make them happy. "I'll move heaven and earth," he told them. "You'll be the envy of all the other chickens in the UK. Anything you want, anything you desire, will be yours." And while a lot of people make similar pledges at the beginning of romances, when things are all heady and you can't bear to be apart for any period of time, Odey kept his word. By 2012, his chickens were leading the kind of life most fowl wouldn't dare dream of. Still, there was one thing Odey hadn't given them, one thing he hadn't gone the extra mile for. The chickens kept their feelings to themselves for as long as possible and then one night, while they were all watching a documentary about the Taj Mahal, they couldn't keep their feelings inside any longer.

"Is everything okay," Odey asked cautiously. "Is something on your mind?"

"We're fine," the chickens said shortly, looking in the other direction.

"Okay but...you've barely said a word in the last hour."

"We're fine," they said in the tone they used when you knew things were certainly not fine.

"Well, okay then," Crispin told them, happy to take them at their word. "So today at work--"

"WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO BUILD US SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" the chickens blurted out.

"What?? Something like what?" Crispin asked, visibly confused and scared.

"Like that," they said, jumping up and pointing at the TV.

"The Taj Mahal?"

"YES, the Taj Mahal."

"I, I...I don't understa--"

"Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal as a way to honor his wife."

"But she was dead and--"

"That's not the point! The point is we live in a bloody coop and you don't seem to have a problem with that."

"I didn't realize--"

"You didn't realize? You didn't realize how incredibly demeaning it is for us to leave the main house every night and retire to some shack? Is that how much you think of us?"

"Of course not! You know how I feel about you! You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me and if I'd known you wanted me to build you something like this, I would've done it yesterday, I swear it!"

"Well then it sounds like you've got a lot to think about."

"I'll pay a visit to my architect first thing in the morning."

"That's certainly a start."

The chickens got up to leave.

"You don't want to stay the night?"

"Talk to us when you've got blueprints."

"Got it. Right then."

"Oh and darling? Our style is a bit more 'Greek Temple' than Mughal. Good night."

Related

News

UK Hedge Fund Manager Sets Unreachably High Bar With Resplendent Private Residence For Chicken Friends

Crispin Odey is the founder of Odey Asset Management, a sausage brand ambassador, and a guy who unwittingly made fellow hedge fund manager Philip Falcone's life* a living hell when he pulled this stunt: ...Odey has upped the ante for poultry accommodation – he’s building a temple for his chickens for which the stone alone costs £130,000. The Palladian-style chicken house, designed by Christopher Smallwood Architects, has won planning approval from the Forest of Dean District Council, and will sit on the hillside above Eastbach Court, Odey’s Grade II-listed home. The temple’s roof – adorned with an Anthemia statuette – will be fashioned in grey zinc; the pediments, cornice, architrave and frieze are in English oak; and the columns, pilasters and rusticated stone plinth are being hewn from finest grey Forest of Dean sandstone. Naturally, the doors will be painted in the Odey Asset Management founder’s favourite Hague Blue – “to match the doors around Eastbach Court”, according to the plans...“The temple will be a lovely place when it is finished at the end of the year,” Odey said from a grouse moor. “The chickens will be grand.” Nice for the chickens, but obviously this gesture makes Phil look like a deadbeat by comparison, as he merely allows his pet pig Wilbur to live in his apartment and has never even suggested getting her her own place. You can bet someone will be printing a copy of the article and placing it prominently on top of someone's morning paper, and god help that someone if he doesn't get on the horn about building her the god damn Taj Mahal, ASAP. Crispin Odey’s chickens come home to (a luxury) roost [Telegraph via FT Alphaville] *And the lives of all deep-pocketed animal owners.

Hedge Funds

UK Hedge Fund Manager's Chickens To Maintain The Lifestyle They've Grown Accustomed To In 2013

What motivates a hedge fund manager to continue busting his ass to churn out profits year after year, once he's already amassed a fortune most people can't even fathom, when he could easily pack it all in and live more than comfortably without ever working another day? For some, it's the thrill. For others, it's the trophy's wife's shoe habit. For Crispin Odey, it's the chickens. The Odey Asset Management founder (and sausage brand ambassador)'s got a mess of high-maintenance ones and earlier this year, had architects draft blueprints of a "Palladian-style" mansion he intended to build them (seen at left), replete with a grey zinc roof, "pediments, cornice, architrave, and frieze in English oak," and columns "hewn from the finest grey Forest of Dean standstone." After finishing 2011 down 20.3%, things were no doubt more than a little tense over in Herefordshire, where questions of whether or not construction would have to be halted, or if they'd have to make the switch to [whispers] generic-brand feed. Certainly a moment of panic swept over Odey each day when he returned home, wondering as he turned the knob if he'd be entering an empty house, the chickens gone and a note explaining they couldn't do this anymore on the fridge. Ran off with the general contractor because what was the point of shacking up with a money manger if the money wasn't there? Luckily for all parties involved, it won't have to come to that; according to Bloomberg Markets' annual ranking of the top performing hedge funds, performing under pressure is one of Odey's specialities.