Write-Offs: 05.06.14

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$$$Alibaba Files to Go Public in US IPO of E-Commerce Giant [Bloomberg]

$$$Happy Hedge Fund Managers Earn Money for Nothing [BusinessWeek]

$$$FINRA has fined Morgan Stanley $5 million, saying that the firm did not follow proper procedures in the initial public offerings for 83 companies including Facebook and Yelp. [Dealbook]

$$$ You have a week to bid on lunch with Ben Bernanke and/or Tim Geithner (Bernanke is currently lapping TG) [CharityBuzz]

$$$Couple Arrested For Sex Acts On Church Lawn [TSG]

$$$UBS defeats shareholders' U.S. appeal over mortgage losses, tax probe [Reuters]

$$$Target interim CEO: Not interested in being new CEO [Reuters]

$$$Monica Lewinsky Says Clintons Didn’t Pay Her to Stay Quiet [WSJ]

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$$$ Italy Vote Shows No Clear Winner, as Berlusconi Rises [WSJ] $$$ Goldman to begin fresh round of job cuts [Reuters] $$$ Remember That $83 Billion Bank Subsidy? We Weren't Kidding [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ "There appears to be a growing trendin dying industries: The bosses want to hold their bedside vigils in private." [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks to sell complex CDS books [IFR] $$$ "As an excellent student with advanced people skills and an exciting resume, with a desire to be part of a challenging, energetic, and reputable organization, I will be a valuable addition to The Catholic Church as your new Pope." [McSweeney's] $$$ A top-tier investment management firm is looking for a VP, behavioral finance specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Role in Heinz Deal Is Credit Negative, Moody’s Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Leveraged loan market on fire [Sober Look] $$$ Banks Face Key Hurdle in Libor Fight [WSJ] $$$ RBS plans IPO for U.S. arm Citizens in next two years [Reuters] $$$ John Kerry Brings Democracy to Kyrzakhstan [DI]