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Ex-Trader Who Faked His Own Mugging To Get Out Of Work Offers Career Advice

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Turney Duff is a former Galleon trader turned memoirist, who wrote about "drug-fueled benders," feelings of emptiness, and the time he "faked a mugging by rolling on the pavement and into a puddle until he was bleeding and bruised" as an excuse for missing work one day in "The Buy Side." It seems unlikely that he'll rejoin the securities industry, but in the event he does, know that he's watching you.

Keep a mental list. You should have a list of good guys and bad guys. It will come in handy down the road. If you do this over time, two things will happen: You'll know who NOT to do business with and you'll increase the number of mutually beneficial relationships you have. Some people actually do much better when you say, "In your hands; do your best." And these are the people you want to keep close.

It was the last trading day of 2002. I gave one of my sales traders 10 buy orders to be executed in the last 10 minutes of the trading year. It's a common trick to mark up a portfolio at year end to increase your returns by getting paid more on the inflated performance. I gave her my orders with about 30 minutes left in the trading day but with specific instructions to not start buying until the last 10 minutes. I wanted to juice the price of some of the stocks we already owned. But a few minutes after I gave her the orders, I noticed they all started to move up. ALL TEN. I knew that she had leaked my orders to another one of her clients. If someone bought the stocks in front of me, they could reap the benefit of me moving the stocks higher and then turn around and sell them to me on the closing bell with no time to push the stocks as high as I wanted them to go. I was livid. But I didn't say anything. Nor did I accuse her of leaking my orders. I just said "thank you," and told her to have a wonderful New Year's. For the whole next year, I kept her on a tight leash. I never fully trusted her again and probably did about half the amount of commissions as I'd done the year before. So on the last trading day of 2003, I gave her 10 orders — all shorts. There were 30 minutes left in the day and I gave her instructions to not execute until 10 minutes before the close. "I mean it!," I said. "Do not start until 3:50pm."

"I got it," she said.

As I'm watching the stocks, they all start to trade lower. I know she leaked my orders AGAIN. As soon as the clock struck 3:49pm, I called her and canceled all of my orders — they were fake. I could hear her choking. Then, I got on the phone and called another broker and gave him my real orders — same ten stocks, but they were actually BUYS. The stocks ripped higher and higher.She leaked the wrong orders. Her client was losing lots of money. I was giggling. Think you're going to play me? I'll play you — HARDER.

You're playing me? Nope. I'm playing you [CNBC]


Ex-Trader Whose Time On Wall Street Consisted Of Drug-Fueled Benders, Faking His Own Mugging To Get Out Of Work Offers Etiquette Tips

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Hedge Fund Manager Who Faked His Own Death Has A Few Theories About Other Famous Murders, Real And Imaginary

Remember Samuel Israel III? For those with short memories, SI3 is a former hedge fund manager who faked his own death in June 2008 with the help of his girlfriend, Debra Ryan, who later wrote an article explaining her actions by noting that she and Israel had "a blazing sex life" that was hard to walk away from (Ryan shared colorful anecdotes that included all the times Israel would "[jokingly] sneak up on her, once while wearing sunglasses on his penis"). For Israel's part, he had pretended to kill himself, incorporating a line from M*A*S*H into his fake suicide note, in an attempt to avoid the prison stay that was coming his way, on account of having taken Bayou Group investors for more than $450 million. At the time, he became something of a minor celebrity, whose business card, prominently featuring an egret, was auctioned off on eBay but since ultimately being sentenced to twenty years behind bars we'd heard nary a peep from the guy. Luckily, Andrew Ross Sorkin recently flew down to Butner, North Carolina for a little chat and it's a good thing he did because Israel had a lot he wanted to get off his chest. After offering ARS an "orange Life Saver," discussing his own version of a playoffs beard ("Mr. Israel...was wearing a tan prison uniform with his hair grown out, a mass of silver and brown curls sprouting from the sides of his bald head. 'I’m never going to cut it until I get out,' he exclaimed"), and talking Ponzi schemes, SI3 got down to the real matter at hand. About halfway through, the interview turned bizarre when Mr. Israel, on the verge of crying, announced: “I took a man’s life. I shot him twice.” I asked for more details. The story is recounted in “Octopus,” but the author, Mr. Lawson, doesn’t appear to believe it. In the supposed slaying, Mr. Israel describes himself defending a known con man, Robert Booth Nichols, who claimed to have once worked for the Central Intelligence Agency and has since died. Mr. Nichols was undertaking a secret trade at a German bank and was ambushed outside by a cockeyed “Middle Eastern guy.” Mr. Israel says he shot the ambusher in the hip and then in the head. He looked at me, shaking, and said, “I’ve seen someone with their head blown off maybe two feet back — as close as I am to you.” Mr. Israel recognized my skepticism. When I asked him what happened to the body, he said, “Bob made a couple of calls.” Again, I looked at him quizzically. “These people can do anything. They can get rid of a body,” he said. “Come on,” he added, looking at me as if I didn’t understand. “They can kill presidents.” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “The J.F.K. thing,” he said. He went on to tell me that he had videotapes of Kennedy’s assassination and that one was stolen by the F.B.I. “I know it makes me look like a crackpot,” he said. “But I know it’s real. Look into my eyes — I don’t care if people think I’m crazy.” Egrets. A Con Man Who Lives Between Truth And Fiction [Dealbook]

Ex-Barclays Exec Who Went To War Over High School Pep Rally Strikes Out On His Own

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