Write-Offs: 07.08.14

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Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Jul 8, 2014

$$$Pimco Dissidents Challenge Bill Gross in ‘Happy Kingdom’ [Bloomberg]

$$$Banks Dreading Computer Hacks Call for Cyber War Council [Bloomberg]

$$$Vatican Bank Gets New Management and Marching Orders From the Pope [BusinessWeek]

$$$ Following news that gourmet cupcake seller Crumbs closed all of its stores Monday, an enterprising eBay seller listed one of the company's birthday cupcakes for $250. "Bid on this still-delicious soon-to-be relic, and you'll be able to tell your grandchildren that you devoured the last Crumbs cupcake," the listing reads. [CNBC]

$$$Harry Potter is pushing 34 and he has “a couple threads of silver” in his black hair, according to a new story from J.K. Rowling. [WSJ]

$$$Museum of Natural History to host adult slumber party [NYP]

$$$Argentina to meet again with debt mediator, bonds rise [Reuters]

$$$At Senate Hearing, Wall Street Executives Share Concerns About the Market [Dealbook]

$$$Snoozing Yankees fan sues ESPN for $10 million [CNBC]

Rate rise risks; Silicon Valley cash drying up; "Now What Happens to Shkreli's Wu-Tang Record?"; and more.

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

Alibaba blows it; Trump surges in Iowa; HSBC promotions; Poop geyser on British beach; and more.