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Write-Offs: 07.24.14

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$$$UBS Lashes Out at French Prosecutors [Dealbook]

$$$KKR's Quarterly Profit Surges [WSJ]

$$$Schwartz, 32, looks much as he did when he was a student on the dean’s list at Cornell University, all the way back in the Aughts. He had no experience in fast food before going to Burger King; he spent almost a decade on Wall Street after college. And he’s surrounded himself with a similarly eager and fresh-faced inner circle. Josh Kobza, the chief financial officer, is 28. He and Schwartz are usually joined on conference calls by Alexandre Macedo, Burger King’s ancient 36-year-old president for North American operations, and Sami Siddiqui, the head of investor relations, who’s 29. Only one of the four saw a day of the Seventies. [BusinessWeek]

$$$Bank of America Knew How to Sell a Basketball Team [BloombergView/Matt]

$$$Judge tells Baldwin he’s a fan and to ‘be a good boy’ [NYP]

$$$Yellen Settles for a Slingshot Instead of a Shotgun [Dealbook]

$$$U.S. judge won't overturn convictions of five ex-Madoff employees [Reuters]

$$$Tinder Is Full of Robot Prostitutes [ValleyWag]

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