$$$U.S. watchdog calls bitcoin 'Wild West' of finance [Reuters]
$$$London Banks Award New Hires 20% More Pay in July [Bloomberg]
$$$Crucible Capital CEO criminally charged with obstructing SEC [Reuters]
$$$U.S. Bank Profits Near Record Levels [WSJ]
$$$Alleged Burglar Caught After Beating Cops In Doughnut-Eating Contest [HP]
$$$JPMorgan Strikes Deal to Spin Off Its Private Equity Arm [Dealbook]
$$$Feds: Woman, 78, Stuffed Her Girdle With $20,000 In Air Smuggle Bid [TSG]
Inside Traders Look to U.S. Supreme Court for Redemption; Deutsche cutting 1/2 of Brazil team; Fed holds line; Customs says man smuggled live birds in fanny pack, groin of pants; and more.
Block calls U.S. stocks rally 'dead cat bounce'; Strategist says Trump is a wild card for the markets; Naked Female Motorist Leads New Mexico Cops On 100 MPH Chase, Says She Was Too Hot For Clothes; and more.
$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]
Starwood receives unsolicited bid; Former Goldman director is out of jail; Burglar Insists He Broke Into Home To Save Wife Taylor Swift; and more.