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Write-Offs: 08.29.14

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$$$JPMorgan Hack Said to Span Months Via Multiple Flaws [Bloomberg]

$$$Ukraine Invasion Claims Wipe Out Russia Bondholder Gains [Bloomberg]

$$$Brazil Falls Into Recession with Second Quarter GDP [Reuters]

$$$ A Midtown landlord is taking cramped city living to new heights — by renting a 2 bedroom apartment with 22 beds, according to a video posted online. Hawking what appears to be an illegal hostel, the apartment owner touts the “amazing location” for “young professionals” on 27th Street and Third Avenue. [NYP]

$$$Woman Discovers Her Cat Is Cheating On Her, Living Double Life [HP]

$$$That's it for us today! Enjoy the holiday and we'll see you back here on Tuesday!

$$$1 percenters bullish on US despite ‘failed’ Obama presidency: Wien [NetNet]

$$$Hedge Funds Hunt for Clues in Treasury Tax-Inversion Limit [Bloomberg]

$$$Flight Diverts to Boston Over (Another) Reclined-Seat Upset [AP]

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$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

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