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Write-Offs: 10.27.14

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$$$Fed Touchy About Touching Rate Guidance [RTE]

$$$Told to Find 'Sugar Daddy,' Karma Chief Sees Path to $500 Million Funds Instead [Bloomberg]

$$$Steve Ballmer stands to gain as much as $1bn in tax benefits as a result of his $2bn purchase of the Los Angeles Clippers basketball team, helping to explain why the Microsoft billionaire paid a record price for the club. [FT]

$$$Twitter’s Third-Quarter User Growth Slows, Shares Decline [Bloomberg]

$$$Darth Vader, a candidate running for a seat in the nation's parliament, was turned away at his polling place when he refused to take off his mask. Hours later, it looked like he had little chance of winning, according to exit polls. Or as Dark Lord of the Sith might say: "NOOOOoooooooo!" The candidate, who changed his name to Darth Alekseyevich Vader, turned up to vote on Sunday standing atop a black van decorated with symbols of the Galactic Empire and blaring "The Imperial March" from loudspeakers. Once inside, Vader showed his passport to polling officials, but they asked him to take off his mask. "Here is my face on the passport. Where does the law say that I have to take off my mask?" Vader said, according to The Telegraph. "I thought this might happen," he told reporters afterward, according to AFP. "But I am still disappointed. My rights have been violated again." [HP]

$$$Results of Stress Tests Don’t Guarantee Better Economic Health for Eurozone [Dealbook]

$$$Mega-retailer uses 'Fat Girl' costume category [CNBC]

$$$Maine Woman Dressed As Hello Kitty Arrested For Drunk Driving [TSG]


Write-Offs: 11.01.12

$$$ Pierre-Henri Flamand is closing his event-driven hedge fund Edoma because there are no events [WSJ] $$$ Global Regulators to Cut List of Too-Big-To-Fail Banks to 28 [Bloomberg] $$$ Wells Seeks Mortgage-Suit Dismissal, Citing Redundancy [WSJ] $$$ Bloomberg endorses Obama [Bloomberg View] $$$ So does Whitney Tilson [BBW] $$$ Obviously there is a Harvard Business School Gangnam Style video [YouTube] $$$ The SEC is looking for a graphic artist / web designer in DC [DBCC] $$$ "Bernanke Depression Guru Seeks Roosevelt Well-Being" [Bloomberg] $$$ "The guide's popularity offers a glimpse into the world of aspiring management consultants" [WSJ] $$$ "Over the last 60 years, poll questions that asked people which candidate they expected to win have been a better guide to the outcome of the presidential race than questions asking people whom they planned to vote for." [NYT] $$$ Yield is the Last Refuge of Scoundrels [Aleph Blog] $$$ Cory Booker Not Taking Hot Pocket Crisis Seriously [DI]

Write-Offs: 11.06.12

$$$ "UBS AG, Switzerland’s biggest bank, fired its head of credit-default swaps index trading, David Gallers, last week, with no plan to fill the position, according to two people familiar with the matter. Instead, the bank replaced Gallers with computer algorithms that trade using mathematical models." [Bloomberg] $$$ Morgan Stanley should not boost bond trading: analyst [Reuters] $$$ Sheila Bair has a crazy plan for Congressional pay-for-performance [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Research Implies Big Obama Electoral Win [Deal Journal] $$$ “One of the most striking differences between U.S. presidents is how they choose to stock the White House bar.” [TMN via The Hairpin] $$$ A premium bank is looking for an analyst or associate candidate for the Corporate Strategies group within the investment banking division in New York[DBCC] $$$ Recycled legal claims make banks look like victims [Breakingviews] $$$ Citigroup Discloses Libor Inquiry in Singapore [WSJ] $$$ “Some genius paired 50 Cent's In Da Club with a video put out by the Jehovah's Witnesses to encourage deaf people not to masturbate” [Kottke] $$$ Defendant In Murder Trial Who Wanted To Get Back To His Cell In Time For Monday Night Football: “I Did it, So What?” [Deadspin]