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Write-Offs: 12.1.14

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$$$Uber hires Goldman Sachs to raise money from bank clients [Fortune]

$$$Hedge Funds Lose Money for Everyone, Not Just the Rich [Bloomberg]

$$$Spanish Theater Company Solves Tax Problem With P0rn [BusinessWeek]

$$$FBI warns US businesses of 'destructive' malware [Reuters]

$$$Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night Part IV is December 17th. Wilbur will be there-- will you? [DB]

$$$Driver Says He Fled Car Crash To Get Away From Yelling Girlfriend: Cops [AP]

$$$ This summer, analysts were predicting that Harold Hamm could lose half of his $20 billion fortune in his divorce. Since then, Hamm's fortune has indeed been cut in half. But the reason is oil prices, not his divorce. [CNBC]

$$$Gifts from ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ would cost $27K [NYP]

$$$Willie Murphy Is A Champion Body Builder At Age 77 [HP]

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$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

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