$$$ Got half an hour? Watch Facebook's retail roadshow [Facebook] $$$ Wall Street doesn't know how to value private equity firms [Fortune / Dan Primack] $$$ Documents allege HSBC money-laundering lapses [Reuters] $$$ UBS investors protest against pay plan [FT] $$$ Osama bin Laden's views on investing jihad money [FTAV] $$$ Pimco is looking for a digital marketing specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wall Street Wants More From the JOBS Act [DealBook] $$$ Bank of America to Sell Hearst Tower for $250 Million [Bloomberg] $$$ Krugman Wishes He Were Wrong Amid EU Austerity Backlash [Bloomberg] $$$ The Secret of Ben Bernanke's Beard [Atlantic] $$$ This has no conceivable financial hook, but [The Awl] $$$ Lost Pet Parakeet Found Its Way Home By Telling the Police Its Home Address [Gizmodo]

$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

$$$ Judge Approves Payout to MF Global Customers $$$ Dell Buyout Deal Could Come as Soon as Monday [Reuters] $$$ US banks squeezed as mortgage profits hit [FT] $$$ High Drama at CFTC: The Battle Over Swaps and Futures [BBW] $$$ UBS Set to Classify Bond-Buying Clients as 'Aggressive' Investors [FBN] $$$ "We were served water, at exactly the right cool temperature, yet without ice cubes"; also Bill Gates was there [MR] $$$ Aston Martin in Barn With Mouse Nest May Fetch $300,000 [Bloomberg] $$$ A highly respected bank is looking for a senior associate and a VP/director to originate, structure, and market credit-based structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ SNS Nationalized in Netherlands After Real Estate Losses [Bloomberg] $$$ Swap mis-sellingand the dark heart of the City [Telegraph] $$$ Banks slow crisis money repayment to ECB [Reuters] $$$ Twitter nears $10 billion valuation [Fortune] $$$ Sociology of the evolution of electronic trading [Jayanth R. Varma] $$$ Half of students in Harvard cheating scandal required to withdraw from the college [Boston.com]