Football player IPO pulled; Warren Buffett's grandson starts investment firm; Goldman sees limited '16 stock market gains; "Drunk Guy On Flight Just Wants To Drop Trou, Smoke Cigarettes"; and more.

The hedge funds that DID make (lots) of money in 2015; Pot credit unions vs Federal Reserve; "Those $400 tickets to celebrate NYE at Olive Garden are actually selling fast "; and more.

Wall Street's highest-paid executive; A disgraced trader's struggle for redemption; Bloomberg v ZeroHedge; Family finds dog that’s been missing for a decade; and more.

$$$ Osborne lobbies Geithner on StanChart [FT] $$$ Carlyle to Acquire Asset Manager TCW From SocGen [WSJ] $$$ Goldman Cleared in Mortgage Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Manchester United prices IPO below range, valuing club at $2.3 billion [Reuters] $$$ DC Man Orders TV From Amazon, Gets Assault Rifle Instead [USAT] $$$ A New York boutique firm is looking for a special situation analyst to analyze its special situations [DBCC] $$$ Yahoo May Reverse Alibaba Cash Plans [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Energy in U.S. antitrust probe [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Text Messaging Champion Is $50,000 Richer [BW] $$$ Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’ [Gawker]

$$$ Spain to spend billions on bank rescue [FT] $$$ Facebook Kicks Off Roadshow With Zuckerberg in Hoodie [WSJ] $$$ Shareholder Calls for Chesapeake to Be Open to Offers [DealBook] $$$ How venture capital is broken [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The "Gentleman Groper" was only a gentleman, not a groper [NYP, earlier] $$$ Stocks Could Sell Off but Not Swoon: Technicians [CNBC] $$$ How would you like to be a senior derivatives trader at Aegon? It's in Baltimore. [DBCC] $$$ Should Benchmark Indices Have Alpha? Revisiting Performance Evaluation [NBER] $$$ An FDA for financial innovation remains a terrible idea [John Cochrane] $$$ Yahoo Board Is Said to Meet Today, Discussing CEO Scott Thompson [Bloomberg] $$$ Dinosaur flatulence, belching may have contributed to warming Earth, killing them off [AP]