Buy The Cadillac 80-Something Warren Buffett Knows Without Question 16-17 Year Old Warren Buffett Would've Bedded Some Buxom Young Milkmaids In

A teenage Buffett would've done some damage to this car, if y'know what he means.
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Let's get one thing straight: Berkshire Hathaway CEO and extremely randy individual Warren Buffett did not have relations in the car you have the opportunity to bid on later this week. That's not because a Cadillac DTS with beige leather seats isn't an extremely sensual vehicle or because women don't go crazy for automatically dimming side mirrors. It's just that, in your 80s, things are less flexible than they used to be. But oh, if he'd gotten his hands this puppy some 60-odd years ago? Hoo-boy, the stories it could tell. Stories of heavy petting. Stories of "churned butter." Stories of "Is that the gear shift or...?" Trust him when he says, a young Buffett would've put some serious miles on this thing.

The last car Buffett sold off, a Lincoln Town Car, went for $70,000 in 2006, or roughly three times its ordinary value. This time, Buffett is auctioning a beige 2006 Cadillac DTS. The DTS is a roomy, comfortable front-wheel drive car powered by a 275-horsepower V8 engine...The car is a "cream puff," Buffett told CNNMoney in a phone interview. "If I were a used car salesman, this would be a cinch for me to sell," he said. The Cadillac, with only 20,000 miles on it, has leather in the interior with heated and cooled power seats, automatically dimming side mirrors, a parking sensor system and it is equipped for satellite radio. Nothing particularly memorable ever happened in the car, Buffett said. "If I was 16 or 17 I would have had a few memorable moments it the car," he said in jest.

You can buy Warren Buffett's Cadillac [CNN Money]

Earlier: Don't Think He Hasn't Tried

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Warren Buffett Wants To Get One Thing Straight: He Loves A Good Booze Cruise

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Former Berkshire Hathaway Executive Has Only The Nicest Things To Say About Warren Buffett

On March 30, 2011, Warren Buffett penned an open letter expressing support for his former lieutenant, David Sokol, whose trading activities had been called into question. "Neither Dave nor I feel his Lubrizol purchases were in any way unlawful," Buffett wrote. Then, a month later, he told shareholders and reporters gathered at the BKR annual meeting in Omaha that, actually, Sokol was a degenerate bum; a piece of garbage that needed to be taken out, lest it stink up the place. (Actual words: "inexcusable," "inexplicable," in violation of "the company's insider-trading rules and code of ethics." Buffett added that Berkshire "had turned over some very damning evidence" re: Sokol to the Securities and Exchange Commission, to boot.) Though Sokol did not publicly respond to the comments at the time, they presumably stung quite a bit, since having your unassailable ex-boss basically call you a lowlife does not do wonders for the reputation. Now, a year later, after being informed that the SEC would not be taking action against him, is he in a Zen place about life in general and Buffett's words specifically? Are the two men cool? Could Sokol see them being friends again one day? At the very least, is he ready to laugh about them? Yes, yes he is.