September 28, 2021

Memo To Libidinous Office Workers: Windows Aren't The Same Thing As Walls

Alternatively titled: Libidinous Office Workers Demonstrate Step-by-Step Guide To Putting On A Show
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Generally, when coworkers decide to have an affair or a single night of pawing at each other, they attempt to do so out of the view of other people, particularly if one or more of said coworkers happens to be married. If you're considering getting randy with a colleague, whether you're spoken for or not, there are probably a lot of resources that offer tips on how to keep that sort of thing under wraps. Office Affairs For Dummies might be one one. Understanding that you're not invisible is another. But where to turn if you and a coworker are looking to rub up against each other and get caught by dozens and subsequently thousands if not millions of people? There just doesn't seem to be a blueprint or guide for such a thing. That's where one New Zealand couple comes in. Their primer goes something like this:

  • Eye each other across the room while working late one night
  • Shoot one another a look that says "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
  • Rush to a window which-- and this step is important-- faces a bar full of people
  • ...some of whom may or may not posses a phone with picture-taking capabilities
  • Get to it

The encounter between the two colleagues at Christchurch insurance company Marsh Ltd. was photographed and filmed by scores of people at the busy Carlton Bar, who then posted the images online. Stuff.co.nz reported today the man was a manager at the company and was married with children. His devastated wife was no longer speaking to him and had been crying “non-stop,” a source said. Neither the man nor the woman was at work today. Calls to their office lines were answered by colleagues and the man wasn’t answering his cellphone...The images of the steamy affair quickly went viral.

“Opposite the Carlton bar where the whole pub knew about it and was watching, while they were totally oblivious to it. And afterwards celebrating with wine,” Alex Wilton wrote on Facebook, alongside photos of the man and woman. Marsh Ltd. said on Monday that an investigation had been launched. “Marsh is very disappointed by the conduct of two colleagues at our Christchurch premises,” company chief Grant Milne said in a statement. “The inappropriate actions of those two individuals are not representative of the many professional colleagues we have at Marsh.” It is understood that the pair thought the tinted windows in the office would stop anyone from looking in, TVNZ reported. “Everyone knew about it,” Wilton told 3 News. “The band that was playing at the time stopped because everyone else was more interested in watching them … We all had a good laugh. It was the highlight of the night.”

Man’s affair with co-worker is revealed after office romp gets live-tweeted [NYP via Matt Levine, Lauren LaCapra]

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