Dalio v. Ackman; Greece; Greenlight; Bra Bandit; DSK; "School Bus Driver Fired For Beer-Drinking Selfie"; AND MORE.

Credit Suisse chief on the way out; HSBC still in troubs; Goldman Sachs love emojis; Marijuana on the loose; AND MORE.

One of Buffett's top managers made a lot of money today; After being taken into custody for allegedly shooting his hedge fund manager dad, Thomas Gilbert Jr. "scarfed down two slices of pizza, an Egg McMuffin, an apple and a sandwich"; Germany still has no love for Greece; Coke use makes it hard to learn from your mistakes; AND MORE.

$$$ Gold Sinks Into Bear Territory [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Switches Risk Model Again After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ US Senate scales back insider law [FT] $$$ Spain Eases Rules in Move Seen Helping Convicted CEO [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Credit Suisse trader pleads guilty in MBS case [Reuters] $$$ Mayo Tells Wells Fargo Execs Results ‘Stunk’ [Deal Journal] $$$ When options trading ahead of deals raises eyebrows [Reuters] $$$ Notes from the DoubleLine Lunch with Jeffrey Gundlach, Spring 2013 [Reformed Broker] $$$ Doubts over new CDS futures [IFR] $$$ High-Speed Trader Said to be Considered for SEC Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Billionaire Koch Wins $12 Million Verdict in Wine Trial [Bloomberg] $$$ Sarasota Man Steals Ten Cans Of Axe Deodorant From Publix Store, Assaults Security Guard, Broken Bicycle Chain Foils Getaway [Global Dispatch]

China; Puerto Rico; Glencore; Ex-Citigroup trader doesn't care if you can't handle the truth; "Selfie Stick Fail: Jeep Driver Films Himself Crashing"; and more.

$$$ Osborne lobbies Geithner on StanChart [FT] $$$ Carlyle to Acquire Asset Manager TCW From SocGen [WSJ] $$$ Goldman Cleared in Mortgage Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Manchester United prices IPO below range, valuing club at $2.3 billion [Reuters] $$$ DC Man Orders TV From Amazon, Gets Assault Rifle Instead [USAT] $$$ A New York boutique firm is looking for a special situation analyst to analyze its special situations [DBCC] $$$ Yahoo May Reverse Alibaba Cash Plans [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Energy in U.S. antitrust probe [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Text Messaging Champion Is $50,000 Richer [BW] $$$ Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’ [Gawker]

Twitter earnings; Greece, Standard Chartered seen better days; Convicted insider trader sentenced to jail sentenced to more jail; "Naked Idiot On The Field Absolutely Flattened By Rugby Player"; and more.

Fed probably won't do anything next week; Citi trader says bosses loved wrongdoing; "Man angers neighbors by shining 'alien' fighting spotlights"; and more.