Gold; Greece; Bezos; "Oregon man uses drone to rescue stranded drone"; and more.

$$$ JPMorgan Said To Face Escalating Senate Probe Of CIO Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ J.P. Morgan Names New Chief Investment Officer [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks now like to do quarterly calls with bondholders [WSJ] $$$ Some people still like big banks [Bloomberg] $$$ FINRA is suing a test-prep firm for taking Series 7, etc., exams 64 times, failing 52 of those times, and memorizing the questions to tell their students [Reuters; the complaint is also amusing] $$$ [Harvard] Economics concentrator Ali E. Evans ’13 received his [Harvard Business School] acceptance email on Wednesday while sitting in class next to his roommates. He said he celebrated silently and texted his parents. Evans said he has visited classes at the Business School with his tutors at Kirkland House since sophomore year. "Leading my own company one day is definitely a goal of mine, and so business school definitely fits in with that plan," he said. [Crimson] $$$ Pimco is looking for a diversity & inclusion coordinator in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ Qatar Imperils Big Merger of Commodity Companies [DealBook] $$$ There's a new Kindle Fire and it's cheaper [WSJ] $$$ Citigroup, Goldman, UBS Sued Over Mortgage-Backed Bonds [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman must face mortgage debt claims - 2nd Circuit [Reuters] $$$ European political leader says "Some fans of group sex say that it’s better than one-on-one because, as with any collective work, you can skive off," is not Silvio Berlusconi [Telegraph]

$$$ The Einhorn burrito taste test [Felix Salmon] $$$ Mortgage prepayment rates highest since 2005 [CR] $$$ Do you think Harvard Business School will ever again send less than 30% of its graduates to the financial industry? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ "What’s America’s FICO score? One analyst tries to find out" for some reason [MW] $$$ Chelsea Clinton loved working at her parents' friend's hedge fund because it was "fiercely meritocratic," but left because money "wasn’t the metric I wanted to judge my life by in a professional sense." [Bloomberg] $$$ SQUIRREL HATS [Onward State] $$$ A large global corporate and investment bank is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ EU Banks Face Tougher Capital Requirements [WSJ] $$$ Grassley Turning Up Heat on Geithner Over LIBOR Scandal [FBN] $$$ Report: Wall Street is pricing in a 2012 Democratic victory [WonkBlog] $$$ The Glory Days of Currency Trading Are Over: HSBC [CNBC] $$$ Police seize 660 barrels of syrup possibly linked to Quebec maple heist [Globe & Mail]

$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

$$$ M&T To Buy Hudson City In Deal Valued At $3.7 Billion [Bloomberg] $$$ Best Buy Founder Gets Green Light to Pursue Buyout [WSJ] $$$ Don't all M&A processes leak and push up the target stock price? Anyway, Deltek's did [Term Sheet] $$$ Mike Evans heats up Goldman succession speculation by buying an apartment [DealBook] $$$ Americans Think the Rich Are Smarter, But Greedier [CNBC] $$$ Quincy Jones 'knew of alleged plot by Steve Wynn to kill founder of Girls Gone Wild and hide his body in the desert' say court documents [Daily Mail] $$$ Prudential is looking for an associate manager for derivative products [DBCC] $$$ In Dollar Thrifty Deal, Hertz Bets Big on Certainty of Closing [DealBook] $$$ Delaware court affirms $2 bln Southern Copper judgment [Reuters] $$$ Allowing mortgage cramdowns raised mortgage rates by 10-20bps for risky borrowers [Credit Slips] $$$ The Sharapova Effect: you try harder to succeed in sports if you're good-looking enough to get lots of endorsement deals [Freakonomics] $$$ “Remember when McDonald’s used to be called Mickey D’s?” asks Becky Johnson, a senior vice president at Applebee’s. “That was a street slang term, people playing with the name. We found out that ‘the bee’s’ is how the kids are describing Applebee’s.” By “kids,” she means twenty- and thirtysomething singles who may eat at Applebee’s with co-workers or family members, but who generally go elsewhere—like, to an actual bar—at night and on the weekends. “The bee’s is an overt invitation to them,” says Johnson. “We want them back.” [BBW]

$$$ The ECB's unlimited bond buying may be limited to already outstanding bonds [FTAV] $$$ Fed Officials Weigh In On Central Bank's Action [WSJ] $$$ Fannie Mae Pays Banks $1.5 Billion So It Can Fire Them [HuffPo] $$$ Terrorists may or may not have slowed down Bank of America's website [Reuters] $$$ Pimco’s QE3 Distaste Grows as Peso Bond Bet Fades: Mexico Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ Fake Bloomberg Headlines [Twitter] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for a manager for asset allocation and investments in New York [DBCC] $$$ Court allows Greenberg suit to proceed over AIG bailout [Reuters] $$$ Lehman Sues J.P. Morgan Over Derivatives Claims [WSJ] $$$ The new mortgage-backed security in a renter's world [Fortune] $$$ Alibaba Completes $7.6 Billion Repurchase of Yahoo Stake [Bloomberg] $$$ Is This Guy A Member Of Maroon 5? [BF]

$$$ Pierre-Henri Flamand is closing his event-driven hedge fund Edoma because there are no events [WSJ] $$$ Global Regulators to Cut List of Too-Big-To-Fail Banks to 28 [Bloomberg] $$$ Wells Seeks Mortgage-Suit Dismissal, Citing Redundancy [WSJ] $$$ Bloomberg endorses Obama [Bloomberg View] $$$ So does Whitney Tilson [BBW] $$$ Obviously there is a Harvard Business School Gangnam Style video [YouTube] $$$ The SEC is looking for a graphic artist / web designer in DC [DBCC] $$$ "Bernanke Depression Guru Seeks Roosevelt Well-Being" [Bloomberg] $$$ "The guide's popularity offers a glimpse into the world of aspiring management consultants" [WSJ] $$$ "Over the last 60 years, poll questions that asked people which candidate they expected to win have been a better guide to the outcome of the presidential race than questions asking people whom they planned to vote for." [NYT] $$$ Yield is the Last Refuge of Scoundrels [Aleph Blog] $$$ Cory Booker Not Taking Hot Pocket Crisis Seriously [DI]

$$$ S&P, Fitch face trial over Italy downgrades [Reuters] $$$ Kodak Reaches Financing Deal With Bondholders [WSJ] $$$ "Investors in the US are marking down the prices of securities backed by mortgages written before the financial crisis, anticipating that the re-election of President Barack Obama presages a new effort to help distressed borrowers refinance their loans." [FT] $$$ Jon Ronson: "I had Nostradamus-like sense that things were going to go wrong in the credit industry. And I became obsessed with trying to tell that story. ... But I couldn't do it. And the reason was because I kept on meeting people who worked in the credit industry and they were really boring. I couldn't make them light up the page. And, as I said in The Psychopath Test, if you want to get away with wielding true malevolent power, be boring." [The Awl] $$$ "Armed with camcorders and Velcro, a group of activists hope to prove that mountain lions call Connecticut home despite assurances by the state that the big cats are out-of-towners." [Stamford Advocate] $$$ Consider buying a signed print of Geoffrey Raymond's Ina Drew painting [Annotated Paintings] $$$ LLOYD! [Sandy Sucks] $$$ A major insurance company is looking for quants to cover fixed income products, fixed income derivatives and structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ Coal CEO Prays For Deliverance from Obama, Fires Workers [Slate] $$$ Exchanges Route Away From NYSE After Trading Glitch [WSJ] $$$ AIG keen to sell bank, expand in mortgages: CEO [Reuters] $$$ Baby Boomers Blunt Fed Easing While Saving for Retirement [Bloomberg] $$$ Businessweek criticized for poll on hot female b-school students [TBN] $$$ Mary-Kate Olsen Shares PDA with Older Boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy [toofab]